Where the City Sleeps

day gone bad.

2006-06-28T03:26:00.000-07:00

i am super happy. whyy? for the first time in the longest ever time, i've finally found something that me and my daddy can bond over. and what is that? SOCCER!! yeah. only thing we dont exactly agree on is my commenting. i mean, I'M A GIRL!! we just talk about anything under the sun. so anything the players do, act or display, i'm sure to have something to comment. not that it really matters either coz daddy ends up falling asleep halfway through the match. poor daddy. always working so hard, even when a soccer match is going on.

boo-yeah, brazil won ghana 3-0!! WHOOO!!! my daddy and I support Brazil, however my heart is with Germany and France. speaking of which, France won 3-1 against Spain. ooooh yeah oooh yeah ooooh yeah. bad thing is that i fear that Germany and France will compete with each other then who would i cheer for??? hahahha. lovely lovely lovely.

went to school kinda late coz i was so tired from the 3am match and i still insisted on having breakfast coz i was gonna have a long day. HOWEVER, my good mood was ruined, thanks to two certain someones but i wont give names coz i could end up in trouble. a couple of friends tried to comfort me and i'm really thankful, it's really good to depend on someone else instead of being leaned on all the time.

school was okay. i mean, i like my lessons. no more hating chemistry, it's time to just get used to it!!! had to lug around a heavy bag, coz of the stuff i needed to bring back from school. bleahx. and to think tomorrow i've got a heavy schedule. sigh. it makes me feel so tired just thinking about it. And the loads of homework i need to hand in. i'm really really screwed. someone just help me.

didnt really enjoy my time at singapore poly. had fairly good memories the last time i came here. i really like the feeling we shared. =) i like some people in my grouping. -giggles- especially one particular group. heehee. anyways, i'm gonna end off coz i'm really tired.
============================================

O-town - These Are The Days Lyrics

Motel sitting in the dark
Empty room like an empty heart
Love will start but they never stay
They don't look back as they drive away

Maybe I
Fix this broken head light
Fill in the cracks and paint it right
And maybe love will stop here tonite

And if she knocks on my door
i'll give her the key
Just one look in her eyes and i know i'll be
Everything that she sees in me
More than i ever thought i could be but

These are the days
When all that i can do is dream
But i don't wanna spend forever
living in the in between
I'm stuck here in a place without love
And i just can't let it stay this way
But for now i'm gonna have to face it
These are the days

Gotta use this lonely time
To change the picture in my frame of mind
Outside the window theres a sunny day
I wanna feel it on my face

You and I
Are out looking for the same thing
And these walls of wondering
Waiting for someone to share this feeling

And if she knocks on my door
i'll give her the key
Just one look in her eyes and i know i'll be
Everything that she sees in me
More than i ever thought i could be but

These are the days
When all that i can do is dream
But i don't wanna spend forever
living in the in between
I'm stuck here in a place without love
And i just can't let it stay this way
But for now i'm gonna have to face it

These are the days

These are the days between your hopes and fears
These are the moments that are still locked here
There still inside even if she will not hear
Like it or not this is what i got
Ohhh God

These are the days
When all that i can do is dream
But i don't wanna spend forever
living in the in between and
I'm stuck here in a place without love
And i just can't let it stay this way (yeah)
But for now i'm gonna have to face it cause
These are the days

These are the days
When all that i can do is dream
But i don't wanna spend forever
living in the in between
I'm stuck here in a place without love
And i just can't let it stay this way
But for now i'm gonna have to face it
These are the days
=========================================
i put this song coz it seems like everything's screwed up and nothing can go right. so it makes me feel strangely comforted.

Go Germany Go Germany!!

2006-06-25T12:28:00.000-07:00

Whooo hooo !!! Watching the Germany-Sweden match right now. I'm so happy. I mean i used to hate watching soccer. what's the point in watching? it's much better playing soccer than watching tv and falling asleep in front of it only to miss the highlight of the match.

but now, it's totally different. I've been cheering nonstop. or at least until my dad fell asleep and his snoring drowns my cheer. lols. yay for Podolski. he scored at the 4th and 12th minutes. really brilliant. he's got good sportsmanship coz in a previous match, he went round shaking the losing team's hands instead of just going wild coz his team won. plus he went around with a smile, a genuine one, not the fake one that you put on which says something like 'i'm smiling only bcoz i have to'.

okay.. The match's gotten kinda boring coz nobody else seems to be able to do any scoring at the moment so i'm typing to keep myself awake. i knew i should have drank that tasty warm drink just now, it makes me so sleepy now but i must absolutely watch the WHOLE match since i already missed the first 5 minutes of the game. hais. and missed the first goal that Podolski scored. at least i saw the second. and the ALMOST third goal by .. er .. Klose or Schneider.

ooooooooh. something happened to Frings. And I think Borowski's coming out. Ooooh yeahh, I love that dude. he's got such a fierce, intense look. not to mention he looks like an evil clone of a pop star. -thinks- or at least dB says so, i think he's just cute and mischevious-looking. hahahah.

BBQ nite!

2006-06-23T23:32:00.000-07:00

I got up at 3 this morning to watch the Japan-Brazil match. Lovely. it was superb, i mean the Japan goalie was very good. he blocked many of Brazil's attempts to score and Japan scored the first goal of the match. i thought that they might have stand a chance but sadly as the game progressed, it was definitely a Brazil-dominated game. Sad for Japan but good for my dad since he supports Brazil. teehee. Poor him. His daughter supports Germany and France. Ma Belle France!! Ich Bin Ein Germany!!!

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. i love my cell. we always have many visitors and most of them have kids, little ones who are absolutely ADORABLE. take today for instance.

i think the adults are celebrating our teens and kids going back to school with this BBQ. HUMPH. anyways, this german family came down from .. uh .. bangladesh? i think so. and they have three kids, just like my family. two girls and one boy. Hannah, whose 11, Larissa, 8, and Reuben whose 5 this i think. he's a darling, that boy and a good workout. hahaha. i spent my time running after him coz he loved me and debbie being monsters and he was the poor kid we were terrorizing. aahahha. i love REUBEN. he's so cute, with his blonde-brown hair, cute nose and chubby cheeks. hahaha. and the best thing?

WE ALL SUPPORT GERMANY!!! WHOOOOOOOO!!!

2006-06-20T20:59:00.000-07:00

went out today with some .. er ... friends ? well, kinda. i mean, there was jacky, jimmy, williang, shi yu, jian tao and one of shi yu and williang's friend whose name i dont know. ha ha.

waited about half hour for williang and jian tao to arrive. they were supposedly coming from jian tao's place. -rolls eyes- we were betting who would arrive first coz the last person would have to treat us to lunch. hahaha. we tried to engineer things so that williang would have to treat us despite it being his birthday. XD

after that, we kinda talked and walked until .. uh ... cineleisure. yeah. that's where they decided to take neoprints. no offense to them but when i'm with a new group, i preferably NOT take neoprints with them. i mean i'm only close to 2 of them(who was in the neoprints), 2 acquaintances and a guy whose name i dont even know. hence the reason why i ran off when they took their 2nd round of neoprints. walked around the floor with jacky. we oogled at the lovely shoes. I NEED A NEW PAIR!! aaaaah!

i was kinda pissed off after that. i mean, the original plan was to watch a movie -Garfield 2, which i actually hated but was gonna watch coz it was just to celebrate a friend's birthday, but they decided not to. i think my PO'dness did spread to the two brothers, i'm sorry if it did. in the end, the three of us decided to boycott(well, i would girlcott, only there's no such word. XD) the whole thing leaving the other four. we only joined them a little later(at ps) to give williang his cake. we searched the basement floor for a bakery, happened to be -gasp- polar cafe, the very place i vowed not to buy anything from anymore but beggars cant be choosers. -shrugs-

went to play lan with jimmy and jacky after that. had so much fun. i mean, these are people who actually treat me like friend. they dont stereotype me - aside from the whole tomboy issue. -rolls eyes- played counterstrike, which me and jacky ganged up on jimmy. hehe. then we play warcraft -very unsuccessful- i killed my player by some unexplainable reason, coz i really dunno what happened, it just DIED. ha ha ha. then we played half-life. much better, by a bit. i got the worst postionings. I ended up being next to an enemy campsite and hence, kept on being ambushed and attacked CONSTANTLY until jimmy and jacky sent .. umm ... assisstance? what do you call them anyways? the moment i finally got a good position, the enemy's super easy to kill and their whole base was destroyed within 10 mins? super lame.

well, anyways, school's starting soon. hais. i dont wish to go back to school. i think i would prefer to be homeschooled coz of the far distance from school to home and the bad timing. i mean sch at 7.40 ??? surely you jest. i love my sleep but that doesnt mean i want to give it up for sch to start later and end later too. sigh, the daily mournings of an unhappy person.

let's hit the beach!

2006-06-17T03:49:00.000-07:00

yup yupp. just like the title said. i went to the 'beach'. yeahh. the one at sentosa, forgot the name of the place already but like whatever. was s0 worried that no one i was close with would be coming coz i spent my time trying to convince kat & debs but it was a fruitless attempt. i would have better luck convincing the wall. uh-huh.

played volleyball, captain's ball, touch rugby, etc etc. was kinda fun ya know. not really what i expected. i had feared that they would go tanning cos that meant i would have to end up sleeping under the shade coz i definitely DONT NEED to tan. i mean, how dark can i be? it's bad enough being dark brown, i seriously dont need it to be black-brown. i've been discriminated enough already. skin colour, despite it being a physical appearance, is probably the most immature thing to worry about but then again, ppl do judge by your appearance, attire AND skin colour.

i do understand what he totally meant when he was talking. cross my heart, i wont tell anyone what you mentioned. maybe it's time that i took things seriously, not just with the happy-go-lucky attitude, that's so last year. no more childish naviete. the shy, self-conscious, immature laura is gone. i'm locking it away, throw away the key and burying it forever. the new laura would be different, and i wont care about your stupid comments.

sch carnival

2006-06-10T20:06:00.000-07:00

i actually dreaded going to school today. i mean it's 7 am for crying out loud!! Merde, who would want to wake up so early especially on a saturday. i could have slept in and woken up just in time for my x-men hour. =) too bad i couldnt do that today. sighs.

walked around until my feet faire mal a. hahaha. went to do the canteen duty. totally dull. actually the duty was boring but the people who were doing duty with me were totally entertaining. we play soccer with crushed up cans. don't we just portray the picture of boredom that we have been degraded to finding any means of entertainment. Lols.

i had fun in the haunted house today. totally awesome. although i freaked out pretty badly. but then again, where would the fun be if i just waltzed in and out and said 'oh my gosh, that wasnt scary. just those stupid girls who kept on screaming were annoying.' i think i liked the screaming, well kinda. i didnt like being chased after the 'monsters'. like i said before, sometimes too much imagination can be a blessing or a curse. and this is just one time it is a curse. but i still love it anyways.

to my loving brothers, i thank you so much for being so patient with me. I know i'm totally immature and probably not the best person to hang out with, since you guys decided i've FINALLY hit puberty. Lols. I know, i aint the most patient person in the world but then again, you guys arent either.

X-MEN CRAZY!!!

2006-06-07T22:33:00.000-07:00

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I'm totally addicted to X-Men. I couldnt sleep last night too well. Was like drawing out the x-men characters from memory. The drawings suck but all it means is that I'm totally nuts about it.

I've been searching the net. Found out that they do actually sell x-men: evolution seasons. Cool. Now, i'm determined to get the last 3 seasons. Not sure whether season 4 is out yet but I highly doubt it. I'm going mad watching the show. Lols.

Thank you God for blessing me with a powerful imagination and writing skills and abilities. I've been writing stories on X-Men nonstop. I've posted the first two chapters on my latest X-Men story and already have chapters 3 & 4 ready for beta-checking. Poor Blackwings, he's been doing all the checking and hasn't gotten a chance to continue on HIS story. Can't give details on his story though, it's to remain under wraps until he's finished. He's an even more sensitive writer than I am. To those who know my pseudonym name, go search for my latest updates !!! =))

Am obsessed with X-Men. I'm convinced to buy myself loads of X-Men comics, despite the fact that I'm a 'THICK NOVELS R US' type of person. Hahaaha. I think comics ruin imagination but who cares ? I NEED my dose of X-Men.

------Kyro is MINE ------ *The Cajun thief stole my heart*

Going Down.

2006-06-07T22:26:00.000-07:00

i know i know. i havent been blogging for almost ... well. for quite some time. it's so difficult sometimes. i've been asking myself loads of questions that up to now, I cant even answer. And, no, i'm not gonna ask for other people's opinion either. It's MY LIFE, i want to do it myself.

see, that's the problem. i don't own my life, someone else does. It's always controlled. I can't stray away from the norm. And that sucks. It hurts too since my personality is the total opposite. I dont do planning, i care about planning ahead too much. I want to go with the flow, do something spontaneous, something outasight.

It's so sickening to see myself trapped. It's like a hamster. All it does is sleep, eat and run on the wheel thingy. Totally dull and uniform. I'm stuck in this place where i can't escape and i'm going down.

finally.

2006-05-15T14:46:00.000-07:00

finally, after two weeks of being banned, i can use the com again. not that it matters coz next week i have to go without it for another 3 days. hais. anyways. exams are over and i'm still depressed. why? coz my marks sucks.

okae. moving on. i have to absolutely introduce my new dysfunctional TNES-NEVAEH family. =)) hahaha. the 'surname' 's spelt backwards. it's so fun. well. family-tree.

Daniel papa Sherlene mama

Yong Sheng korkor Sharine jiejie Zachariah korkor Laura meimei

hahahah. wheee. of course, i had to be the youngest coz we are following by birth date. -rolls eyes- Poor papa. he's only 19 and he's already a father of four. child groom and child bride. =cheesy smile= poor mummy too. imagine having to 'zhao gu' the 4 of us. hahaha. of course, as dyfunctional families go, we get cheesy nicknames too. of course, Dan papa and Sher mama get to retain whatever part of their name they like. we got our names cut off accordingly as well. Sheng korkor, Shar jiejie, Zack korkor and .... Lala/Rara meimei. lols. papa says i'm really stubborn and hot-tempered so he calls me Rara. the rest call me Lala though. whatever. actually, we're helping dan and sher with their 'future' ... -coughcough-

maths & lit exam.

2006-05-04T08:40:00.000-07:00

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh !!! i think i blew my lit and math exams. hais. and i spent the past few days studying for them. sighs. -sobs- hahah.
math was tough. even though i tried to overcome my mental block over it, it just wasnt enough. sigh. it's really depressing. lit? i dunno. my answers look too short. hais.
talked to him on the phone today. i think we just racked up a high phone bill. ahahahas. devilious, you're paying!!! XD
tomorrow's chinese. i hope i can do it. or at least understand HALF of what they're talking about. hees.

banned from the com

2006-05-02T08:35:00.000-07:00

okae. like the blog says. I AM BANNED FROM THE COMPUTER for the next two weeks.
and it's all my annoying sister's fault. GRRRR. stupid b*****, and i mean literally, afterall she's born in the year of the dog. ahahahaha. X)
whatever. so no going online, no com games or just listening to music. sighs.
wells. no blogging too. ahahah. gonna fail my art coz i cant do my research either. stupid mom too.

2006-04-26T08:00:00.000-07:00

waaah, this morning went down for duty when suddenly see mr sim & mdm choy deep in conversation. apparently, yesterday a group of outram ppl started a fight or something and unfortunately three fellow sec 3 students were 'singled out' or identified by some frightened cashier. ahhaha.
then mr sim came over to ask sebas about marwin as he was one of those who were identified. i was really shocked and had thought i had heard it wrongly, then mdm choy joined us and that's when i saw a scrap of paper which had marwin, jun mun and edmund's names.
immediatly i informed mr sim it was not possible that marwin had commited that disrespectful act as me, mevalia and him went home together yesterday. it was not possible he could have done so. besides he loves his com, why would he waste time elsewhere ? ahahah. then told them that jun mun couldnt have done it either coz he also was with us at the bus stop and had went off with cherlynn. then mr sim called cherlynn to interrogate her as well. lols. those two were so lucky that they had witnesses.

150th blog

2006-04-25T06:35:00.000-07:00

it was a pretty dull day. i feel so ... detached from the world. it's so lonesome. i feel like an outsider, an observer from the sidelines. once upon a time, i felt so special. right now all of it is gone.
sians. today i was determined not to go down for announcements so i sat down together with han jun and jeremy who were revising for their vocab test or something. but less than 2 minutes later, leo came up and told me sebas wanted me to report downstairs so i dragged myself out of the seat and went downstairs. sigh. then i checked the announcements to see if there was any messages about the NE survey and there was one -All students participating in NE survey please go to the AVA room immediatly after the announcement. righty-ho. i ran all the way up and funnily enough, forgot about the pain in my leg.
went to sit with Chris later since among all those who were there(which were the lower sec at that time). we were talking when he suddenly switched to chinese and i switched to autopanic mode. hahaha. i'm not accustomed to people changing languages midway a conversation. hahaha. anyways. he informed me should there be an assembly tomorrow, i had NO CHOICE BUT to be there. ahahha. anyways, we would be the .. er .. is it emcees ? yeah whatever. i was gonna say no but then again, i never stood a chance with puppydog eyes. ahahha. yeahh. so i gave in. besides, it was embarrassing if he made a scene in front of everyone. lols.
wasted my day in school today. nothing much happened and that sucked. hahaha. yeahh, really it did. sighs. anyways. later walked to the bus stop with mevalia and marwin. hahaha. damn farnie. before we left sch, marwin want to buy cookie so we went to the e-cafe. but only i queued up to buy so when i ordered 5 cookies, i think sebas, who was helping, was stunned. ahahha. not for me you dummy. it's for 2 hungry ppl as well. lols.
got caught in a sudden downpour at my house. was walking from the bus stop when it occurred and i got DRENCHED. like the last round. i felt a sense of nostagalia. okay, i'm seriously deluded now. hahaha. but anyways, like last time i took off my shoes and walked in the rain and kept on singing. only this round, HE wasnt around with me. i think walking in the rain is so romantic. i love doing it especially with the special person. *muacks* i miss you, D.

the issue on gay couples.

2006-04-23T06:19:00.000-07:00

today i went to church. was kinda excited coz later after the service, me, Kat & Jess were gonna chat, via skype, to ryan, alyssa & zackie. whoooo~~~. i mean i do miss me .. A LOT. the homecell group lost a lot when they left. me, debs & kat lost our only guy member of our teens homecell group. les bambinas~ lost one of their cutesy members. the 'rowdy-ruff' boys lost a playmate. yeahh. chatted with them. i really wished they were back here in singapore, it's so hard losing everyone all the time.

lazed around with Kat at mac's. it's so weird wearing a skirt. i felt sophiscated? uh huh. went over to Debs' house later. nothing much to do. i read comic book after comic book. seriously my life is that dull.

then my mom picked me up and we went over to my aunt's place for tea. spent the whole time listening and occasionally commenting on what they were talking about. see? there is a benefit to reading the newspapers!! but it's kinda boring when they talk about politics. no offense but which respecting teenager is bothered about elections and all? i mean, it's not like we get to vote or anything. maybe when we're older, then we would have to take notice of all this.

i came across a blog this evening. it was a gay couple's blog. to be honest, i had no reaction to it. i mean i'm not disgusted neither am i that happy about it. i mean i am happy for them, honest, but i'm NOT lesbian. it's just the way the mind works. a straight boy likes girls, a straight girl likes boys, a gay boy likes boys and a lesbian likes girls. plain and simple.

my friend scolded me. she said i was being disgraceful. so what if i'm christian? i dont see anything bad about being gay. in the bible God condemns it, it probably is bad but i dont think so. i think it's acceptable. the world's just too conservative. my anti-gay male friends, i dont get it what's with your reaction? it's not like they're gonna spread it to you or neither are they gonna kiss you so what's with all these crude reactions. you disgrace yourself because you called them a f***ing faggot.

i really dunno how to react. although i have to comment that these two boys should be commended on their courage to show their relationship to the public. it's probably so difficult because they ended up disappointing and upsetting their parents but they believed in what they felt was right and that is why i actually have to say, i respect them.

2006-04-22T05:28:00.000-07:00

thursday blog-
i panicked as i tried to finish my art project which was due tomorrow. eeeks. now i know why i hate procrasinating(?).
was pretty annoyed with my korkor today. sometimes i feel that he just doesnt understand the meaning of THAT. i mean, we're ready to go, me & yehri, but he's still chatting with anu. then yehfri runs off when korkor finally finishes talking to her. so in the end, i'm the one who feels angry. hais. in the end, all i want is to go home and sleep and ignore everyone else.
had a long discussion about mr devilicious. it's clear that the non-supporters of devilicious have a new member. hais. at least we dont have to do a reenactment of tristan&isolde or romeo&juliet. XD although i think that would be wicked cool.
homecell rocked today. we finally 'contacted' ryan and his family through webcam/skype. i'm determined to get it too now. sheesh. why does everyone imply about me and my didi too ? what did i do to look like i even remotely like him ? -.-'''
=-=-=-==-=
today's blog--
enjoyed my history lesson today. me & the teacher just kept talking and talking and exchanging views. i really love history. i wanna major in it!!! ahahah. but i dont see myself as a potential historian though.
just lazed around today. went to parkway parade for lunch. it was super crowded. pretty much love my experiments with new hairstyles.
emailed devilicious. i miss him !!! i want you back here now. i was just born to make you happy. i promise you that i'll be there, through thick or thin. our love is so strong. i cant live without you. you have stolen my heart. i dont know what to do to show you how much i care.
---5months&4days--- extraspecial.

loveya.

2006-04-19T05:02:00.000-07:00

today was fairly interesting. i mean i finally "woke" up, smelt the coffee and panicked at the fact that i've been slacking. but then again, i've always been a procrastinator(spelling?). well, anyways, -heaves a big sigh- i'm gonna have to abandon all the lovely daydreaming and wishing of youu and start cracking the books. yeesh.
went out with mr special today. sighs. how is it that no one approves of you?? i mean, you're nice, sweet, friendly, funny .... blah blah blah ... in my way, you're the perfect gentleman -aside from some overpossesive issues. ahaaha. you're still my lovebunny <3 hahah. X) later in the evening, went out with my family to have dinner. we were celebrating my grand-aunt's bday. ate a chinese restaurant. X) i think i surprised everyone by turning up in a skirt and .. er..a mature top ? hahahha. i think that's the right way to phrase it. had peking duck and even abalone. but the abalone sucked. cant believe whyy people like it. bleahs.
===-=-=-======------====
5 months and 1 day. can you believe it?

[Joshi & Angel] [18 November 2005]

prove everyone else wrong. there is something worth waitingfor.
=-=-=-=-=-=

love.love.love.

2006-04-18T05:53:00.000-07:00

LOVE.
-angelicious.

love,
it's such an indescribable feeling.
something so magical,
it's almost something out of a fairytale
if i had never experienced it, i wouldnt believe
but i have.
i have found it in you.
the passion from me for you
is never ending and never will it die.
the flames burn on,
even after i had taken my last breath.
you have stolen my heart,
without my knowledge,
i had fallen for you fast and hard.
should anything happen to you,
my world will fall along too.
most importantly now you have to know
is i love you,
and i know you love me back too.
=-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=
X/ seriously. when did i become such a romantic ? or actually when did i write like this ? -.-''' i need to get a life.
kinda got a shock today. someone kindly informed me that an idiot was spreading half-truths about me. like HELLO? we're fourteen/fifteen year olds already. isnt rumour-mongering a little too immature? SHEESH. i feel nine all over again and back in HGS. you know, the first time you are exposed to the 'adult world', the first time your friend betrays you by telling your secret to someone else and in the end everyone knows about it and it was done all for the battle of popularity. ugh.
PUH~LEASE. come on, you really know how to hold a grudge. we hated each other some time ago but that was it. if you gonna hate me, well, do it on your own time. it is totally unnecessary to get others involved. i cant really say the feeling's totally the opposite or mutual but sometimes you make it so easy for me to really hate you. hais. you know, i thought we could start over, WITH a clean slate with us being seperated already but then again who knew?

went to school with the 'new' hairstyle. hahaha. but it was kinda loose so i ended up tying a ponytail during maths, i have naturally wavy hair but the plait brought it out even more. heehee. it's really nice to play with. got my shoe confiscated during maths lesson.(arghx! my shoee!!) a lot of people got their shoe confiscated. most of them gave up their right shoe but me & one or two others gave up the left shoe. hmmmm. interesting observation, maybe i can use that for antropology and pyschological studies. KEWL. lols. anyways, back to maths, shaun got his shoe confiscated too so i borrowed his shoe( he gave up the right one and i gave up the left) so i had a pair of mix-N-match shoes. he's about 4-5 sizes bigger than me in shoe size. i felt so dwarfed. hahaha. HE HAS VERY HOT AND SMELLY FEET. hahahaha. no no, i dont know about smell but it is true. the sole of his shoe was really hot and icky-ish. hahaha. but beggars cant be choosers so i took it anyways. he was willing to lend, no duh. it's better for HIM coz he has long pants, no-one's gonna really notice. then at the end, we got back our shoes, coz mr sim didnt have enough time to give all of us chances to answer his questions (which reminds me i forgotten to do his maths HW, must do later!!)
then during recess, i took up parames' offer to redo my hair coz i preferred the plait to the ponytail. we seriously did the word 'experimenting'. hahahah. both nabeelah and parames had different ideas on what type of hairstyle i should use. oh yeah. thank you for the lovely compliments, i take them whenever possible. ;) in the end, parames gave me a hairstyle which reminded me of my parents. LAWYERS. imposing, scarily confident. those sort. ahahaha. too bad i dont think i'll ever be one. i've got my interest in writing, history and anthropology and psychology, thank you very much. =))
skipped most of the photojournalism today coz me & mevalia were waiting for our turns to be tested for oral. Eeeeks. i didnt understand what i was reading and neither did i know how to pronounce half of them. that guy was there again. -rolls eyes- Joshi thinks that mr im-the-big-shot's jealous but why would he? joshi, you gotta tell me!!!
went around looking at other people's blog. all of theirs look so impressive but at the same time, so superficial. there's a lack of something in their writing. is mine like that too? if so, i need to improve then. i want it to be my diary-blog. not my 'i'm-a-dumb-bimbo-and-a-day-in-my-wonderful-life' kind of blog. those, i really abhor. they should be banned. you know, the sorts that go - 'ooh, heeheehee. mieex darling ishh shho nice. he tReaTed mIee tO luNcH tOdaY. mIiieE, lInGg and aAanNe (no offense to those ppl's names or the ppl too) sat at the back of class and were talking(a.k.a gossiping & bitching about) while mr. goh was teaching. hE's sO bLur. haLf thE cLasS oRedI sLpiNgG. == ARGHS. no no no!!! once in a while, i can tolerate but if all the entries for a blog was like that, i would just DIE. besides, what's with the singlish/ bad english. a few times, i understand (it's like a slip of the tongue) but throughout the whole thing? someone shoot me first.
gonna read the bible tonight. i promised myself i would do that coz i didnt get to finish it last night. last night's documentary on Judas Iscariot was interesting. i really liked that sort of thing. maybe i went to do religious studies in the future. MAYBE.

Come back to me.

2006-04-17T05:42:00.000-07:00

Come back to me.
-angelicious.
*******
it was just a silly mistake.
but you blew up.
you got angry and that made me angry too.
we both exchanged hurtful remarks,
but that doesnt mean it should end.
we are in love,
so what's with this arguing?
maybe we just need some time apart
but please dont break my heart,
by saying let's break up.
wait till we've both cooled down,
now is not the time.
you once told me you gave me your heart,
and i you too.
so where's the love we shared?
how did it disappear so fast?
it was just a silly mistake.
forgive me and let's move on.
i'll move mountains if you do.
all i want to see is you and me,
back together again.
i feel lost when you're not around,
coz we're meant to be,
so, baby, come back to me.
******************************************
arghs. i feel like tearing my hair out. i think i'm gonna flunk both my SS and bio tests. i felt like i couldnt answer either one. hais. i think i'm screwed. someone save me.
-----the poem is dedicated to my classmate, my ic, Sebastien. & to Joshi too. =)) ------

happy birthday marcus!!

2006-04-16T05:32:00.000-07:00

la la la la. it's ... i think it is anyways ... a year since i got baptised. yeahh. one year. i'm one itty bitty year old in Christ. hahaha. i still remember the lesson, Deebee. =)) i found myself thinking about it. I used to think i was baptising for the wrong reason. at the beginning, i always doubted the reason why i wanted to get baptised. i felt it was more to spite my parents as they're free-thinkers. but then later, i realised i did for God. i wanted to become part of his always expanding family. hmmms. so i didnt do it for wrong reasons.

hahaha. sat at the back with yiwen and tamlyn. we all got squished into one pew with lis and kathy and some other ppl. heehee. me and yiwen were consuming sweets like there was no tomorrow.

today's marcus' birthday !! ahahaha. me & debbie gave him a pack of marshmallows (ilovethem) and chocolate too. lols. i'm glad he liked it. didnt know he was a marshmallow fanatic too. X) we can have more next time then!! wheee. anyways. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARCUS. =))

tomorrow got ss and bio tests. hope i can complete it.

rain rain go awaaaay.

2006-04-14T07:58:00.000-07:00

had an early history lesson today. i was practically yawning every five minutes. couldnt sleep much last night. my wrist hurts, i dunno how i .. erm .. sprained it? yeah. finally started talking to HIM. ahahha. i found out what we have in common. we are 'great conversationalists'. ahahaha. that sucked man.
pretty boring day except when i got a shock from mr 'sex-god'/kiss-me-i'm-hot. hahahaha. well, call it a good wake up call. wheeee.
watched a spooky criminal show and a lame one too. i think my day really was weird. i changed my hairstyle but it looks so stiff and weird. lols. maybe the ideal hairstyle just doesnt work with mommy trying it out on me. hahahaha.

math test.

2006-04-13T01:18:00.000-07:00

had a math test today. i think i died.
i didt think i could even get half of it.
just stared dumbly at the paper. sighs.
maybe it's time for me to face reality.
MATH & I DONT MIX.
just like me and science.
i was probably meant for humanities anyways.
english, history, ss, geog and lit.
they're probably the subjects that i'm good at.
ah wells, that's just one less entry for the science stream of 2007 o level takers.

happy bday marc & samuel.

2006-04-09T06:17:00.000-07:00

today i woke up several times before i gave up on trying to sleep some more. by then, i realised i had overslept to make it for cell. hahaha. not on purpose though.

i saw debbie's attempt at wrapping presents. errr. it's about the same as mine? hahaha. we have poor domestic talents. lols.

gave samuel and marc their presents. surprisingly, neither one wanted or expected anyone to know about their bday. hehehe. well, the all-knowing princess (me!!) knows. lols.

i begged marc to open his present. and he was kinda worried that me & debs had given him a thong or g-string and i had to assure him it wasnt. when he opened it, EVERYONE laughed. it was a plain black/navy-blue shirt with the words 'CUTIE-PATOOTIE' written on the back in sparkly ink. lols. it's so funny.

then marc went to find samuel to see what his present was which was the pen. lols. we had a good laugh over marc's present. i guess i'm glad it does help us bond together as a class. =))

2006-04-07T22:05:00.000-07:00

wheeeeeee. today wasn't exactly one of the best days but i'm in a rather good mood now. hehehehehe.
school was okay. wasted 3 eng periods during practically nothing but stoning. i MUST remember to bring a good book on friday. if not, i'll possibly pass out during lesson one day. ahahha. pe was good. only ran 5 times round the crazy route before we were dismissed to play games. played captain's ball. today, i didnt drop the ball as much as the week before. lols. maybe my butterfingers curse is finally over. yay! maths was okay, i didnt understand what mr lee was teaching but i tried. i need to go over the material with my tutor next week. have to remember to practice for the maths test next week as well. -sigh- i got upset with sebastien today. i didnt mean to react that way but it was just so sudden. i mean, it's been more than a year since i felt like this but it just blew up. for that moment i HATED him. hais. felt so tired after recess coz of that. chem sucked. stupid calvin was playing with the laser thingy and got miss chan pissed off at us. she decided since no one would own up, she was gonna hand over the case to mr sim. we tried to tell her who was the culprit but she wanted the culprit himself to confess, but the problem was that he probably wouldnt. bio was cancelled since miss chan didnt come. yay!!!

washed the cans on my lonesome at the beginning. then audrey came to help. and so did wei qing and raj later. finally jian tao and wiliang came to help too. hahaha. those two are really GAY. finally, me, jimmy and yehfri were ready to go when a teacher came and asked us to help out. so we ended up carrying chairs and tables and arranging them for the climax@outram thingy. heh. the tables were super DUSTY. yucks.

we went to raffles city as i needed to buy a present for Samuel. his birthday is on sunday. hahaha. i bought him a huge pen. it seemed like a good idea then but now it just sounds weird. i rushed home for tuition after that.

today's homecell wasnt too bad. auntie christianne left early coz her father-in-law was supposedly missing. in the end, they found him at the foot of the building, dead. sigh. deepest sympathies to the family. at least they said he died peacefully but i dont know the full story. we helped the little kiddies do their homecell 'homework'. or at least the others did while i talked on the phone and did my history homework. lols. we played mahjong later. way cool. i won one game. lols. out of 5 games, i only won once. or was it twice ? ahahah. doesnt matter, i just sucked at it.

rushy rush.

2006-04-05T06:51:00.000-07:00

arghs. really sickening. i like the washing of cans and all BUT i hate being left alone to do it. was suppose to be sebastien and jian tao doing it today but then i decided to join them and then sebastien suddenly had waterpolo training so i had to rush.
rush from bio to photo-taking before washing the cans after explaining to my teacher whyy i was gonna be late for cca. hehe. really had fun during both class and cca phototaking. it rawks man. wish i could take photos with my small, selective group of friends too though. maybe we'll do that after the exams. =))

exexco 2006

2006-04-04T06:34:00.000-07:00

arghs. it's a war in here. my friends and not so really friends are arguing with each other. there is a cold war too. neither of them want to apologise. cant blame them, when you see both sides, it's not really their fault. hais.
ahahaha. today i sat at the back with nabeelah coz june didnt come to school today. so damn funny. kinda panicked coz the bee flew into the room and i HATE insects. especially bees that can STING. i've been stung once, i dont need to experience it again. heh.
acks. stop pulling at my shoelaces!!! chong wei kept pulling it out, then i would have to tie it over and over again. bleahs. i really need to find a better way to keep my laces tied.
the journalism course was boring. when it ended, it was raining. bleahs. made my korkor walk to mrt with me. ahahha. then we took a long ride back. ahahaha. it was funny though.
i thought up about having an 'exexco'. =P

President- Jimmy
Vice-President- Laura(Me!!)
Head Prefect- Yehfri
Secretary- Jian tao(maybe)

hahaha. the other 3 positions have yet to be filled in. lols. still waiting for some potential people to fill it up. lols. the commendation's yet to happen. must inform the president to prepare a speech too. hahaha. good luck to my korkor then. hahaha. it's so fun. i love my exexco. =))

goodbye for good.

2006-04-03T06:57:00.000-07:00

-angelicious.
give me one good reason
why i should stay.
you've been jumping in and out
of our farce of a relationship.
where have you been?
where are you now ?
you cant only appear
whenever you want to,
it's becoming tiresome.
i wanna be with you
but it's not worth it
if i'm gonna wait forever for you.
you just have to face it,
i'm leaving and nothing you say will change my mind
i'll count my tears until i get over you
but there's no way i'll let you back again.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=
heh. feel so bad. i made jimmy stay back for me today. didnt want to go home alone coz i actually planned to stay back for the 'detention'. unfortunately, i was reminded by jian tao and zhang chong that i had to do the recycling cans thingy. hais. i'd forgotten about it.
so after bio, i rushed over to see jimmy there too. haahah. my korkor ended up helping me do as i got pretty wet. icks. white shirts are meant for perverts. lols.
walked down the hill with jiantao and kannon. i cant believe he kicked my bag!! arghx. my babyy bag. i should kill him for it.
we took the mrt to habourfront for no reason. just talked and talked. hahaha. then i got off at clarke quay after getting his number. then we kept smsing until we both went online and started talking on msn. lols. this is pretty lame. we didnt know what to talk to each other about. so weird. lols.

emptiness that grows.

2006-04-02T07:05:00.000-07:00

hais. today seem to start off badly. my fave and only pair of jeans that i havent outgrown was put in the wash. so i had to wear one of my old and small pairs. nearly died of lack of oxygen in the beginning. in the end felt like wearing my old clothes, those big, dark shirts plus my jeans. nothing special.
church class sucked. half the people werent there today and the lesson was boring. spent my time 'smsing' kenn even though he was beside me. ahahaha. then we got our hps confiscated. couldnt blame us though, her lesson was BORING. hais.
went to raffles city for lunch. just in time to watch the hybrit show. but i only saw a bit of it. am kinda inspired to design clothes then but now i dont know. i mean i dont think i'll be ever that successful. dont think i'm creative enough either.
feel so angry at our friend. how could he betray us like this? he was entrusted with a secret but yet he told it to others. now the rumour's spreading like wildfire. we cant trust you anymore. you betrayed our trust and friendship. so long, ex-friend. you've been my ex-friend longer than his. hope you know how you treated him and how he feels over this.

three jewels.

2006-04-01T07:47:00.000-08:00

you have me traumatised,
that was your plan.
i'm too naive for my own good.
i dont know how to react.
crash and burn,
that's what's gonna happen.
but someone wont allow.
my protector, my shelter,
my brothers.
they dont like your nefarious ways
or even you.
it's like a game.
eliminate or be eliminated,
king of the castle,
capture the princess.
a insane warlock, you will play,
the knights-in-shining armour, they are,
demure princess-in-pink, i remain.
they're coming to hunt you down,
for taking what rightfully belongs to us, to me.
watch out, my dark, strong stranger.
the princes will not rest,
both topaz tear and ruby heart will find their kidnapped sapphire star.
=-=-=--=-=-=-=-=
i'm feeling so traumatised by last week's incidents. it's really bringing back too many flashbacks. all the repressed, unwanted memories that have been hidden away for so many years. someone just help me, i'm sinking into this ocean. i feel like drowning. this sea of emptiness and tears. all the hurt that no-one sees. like you say. always a smile on my face. sometimes, what's on the outside doesnt necessarily show what's inside. someone save me from my nightmares.

had maths tuition this morning. felt so BLEAHS. i really feel bad. i'm just not interested in maths. i'm so sorry for all the trouble i gave my maths teachers in the past and now.

something a little different..

2006-04-01T07:34:00.000-08:00

i really felt so bad. i finally typed up my statement and decided to hand in to mr sim during maths lesson. however, he did not turn up to supervise the lesson so in the end, i gave it to mr lee coz i didnt want to be seen handing it in and that i could trust a teacher to pass it on.

didnt have bio today. felt so happy coz i was in NO mood to have bio. i feel like quitting bio. i mean i dont really understand what miss chan's talking about and it doesnt help that i sit to one of the 'all-knowing' ... hahaha.

stayed back to get my electronic dictionary. as of now, i think of it as a waste of 25 bucks. but then again, it might help later, who knows? stayed back with my korkor coz he needed help to complete his SS assignment which i had done earlier this week. also helped him find stuff for his stupid RIFA project.

after that, we went to tiong coz jimmy wanted to buy a cd but in the end chose not to. went to mac's to eat but it was full so we went to KFC instead. saw lester, jasmine and farris there too. lols. went home in time for tuition.

talked to louis online and he gave me mr lee's blog link. hahah. i just linked him. dropped a comment about what had happened on thursday. was kinda shocked that this sort of thing happened. no offense, but i wouldnt even wish it on an enemy. to my surprise, marwin also added his two cents worth and agreed with me & louis. thank you so much. maybe we should start a petition on a less harsh punishment for those affected by this incident. as much as it is their fault, they need support and our friendship, we shouldnt shun them neither should they be heavily punished, it actually encourages them to rebel more.

Not Giving It To You.

2006-03-30T05:54:00.000-08:00

Not Giving It To You. -angelicious.
i shudder visibly,
as you walk up to me.
i dont want you here,
i want to be far away from you.
hand on mine,
i try to tug it away
but you're too strong.
i stand, trying to leave
but i can't.
you overpower me.
lips crushed on mine.
furious with myself now,
i push you away,
in your moment of weakness.
i refuse to be disgusted by you,
refuse to be used by you.
i know what you want,
the desire's in your eyes,
it tells me everything i dont want to know.
the room's scarily quiet
and unnaturally empty,
and i dont want to be alone with you.
i see your grin,
you know you have won.
i suddenly feel tired,
and i know i've lost.
you can hurt me all you want,
but i will never give you what you want.
=-=-=--=-=-=--=
i feel kinda sad i wont be seeing ryan off tomorrow morning. but i guess life's unfair and this counts as part of the unfair part. haix. at least he recieved my present, i feel so happy. i wish i could have given him a more meaningful gift but ... i guess I just didnt know what to give him. hais.
today was quite cool. went to st theresa's convent. LOVED their entrance sign, 'Our Ladies' Entrance'. Well, immature boys and mature men, how and where you enter this place is still a mystery. ahahaha. we were joking how the two teachers and all the boys plus the driver had to get off as they were MALE. ahahaha, in the end, jackie decided that he castrated himself. LOLS. mad guy.
we were suppose to be there for some graffiti art workshop but we ended up attending something sneakily related to SS. about singapore-malaysia ties, the ... er ... i cant remember the rock's name something Brana ? hahhaa. i cant quite remember it. then we had a mini-debate. outram was chosen to represent Malaysia while St. Theresa was representing Singapore's board of advisors. lols. I saw kelly today. oh man, she looks totally different. I dont think i have changed though. hahah.
i loved doing the graffiti art. it was so damn fun. Love it so much.
tomorrow's coming. I'm not letting you pysche me out. you may have traumatised me but i have to learn to let it go and move on. i cant do anything about the past but i'm more prepared now. my defences are drawn, my back up is ready. i warn you, i'm no longer that naiive girl you once took advantage of. i hope you're ready coz i certainly am.

gloomy.

2006-03-29T05:56:00.000-08:00

haix. today seemed to be so ... i dunno ... kinda sad to me. i feel so gloomy as friday looms closer and closer.
my mom DOESNT allow me to go see alyssa and ryan off. that is so unfair. i mean it's probably the last time i'll see them in a long long while. hais. i kept crying. couldnt even talk about them without tearing.
why did you abandon us? ryan you meanie-poo! leaving me and debs alone. well, we went ahead anyways coz we wanted to imagine doing so BUT with you there. hais. i dont want to face reality if it is this bad.

No More Pretending.

2006-03-28T22:20:00.000-08:00

No More Pretending -angelicious.
I've never been one for changes
and I've never been good at coping.
When I heard your news,
I seriously thought you were joking.
My body's numb
but i was stewing in hurt.
Why do you have to go?
I want to scream
instead I shook it off
and try to pretend it never happened.
The day comes closer and closer
and I just cant ignore it anymore.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
I've officially taken up space on the left bank by the river of DENIAL. i've built my house, all glamourous and high but it's still cold. there's something missing, you've taken it and i'll never get it back. so what now? what do i do? i know i'm reacting badly but i cant help it. i dont want you to leave.
yay! gonna go for excursion during art tomorrow. that's really good. =)) hahaha. i lurve skipping out on classes to do something else. it may be boring but at least i dont have to stick in a classroom and stone. gosh knows how much i do that each day. feeling quite stressed out. he wants to play the role of the concerned, caring, approachable leader but then again, he's the same b****** that will backstab you and treat you like the scum of the earth. what am i suppose to do? i'm the victim but i'm being forced to play the meanie. hais. hope ZK will solve this matter soon, i really pity him. it's nothing to do with him but he's forced to be the mediator. i'm so sorry, K. i really am. -names cant be printed to save myself any trouble-
saw my kindergarten boyfriend on the way home from school today. he's SUPERTALL now. hahahaa. i feel shortt and inadequate. i think he remembered me coz he smiled at me. hahaha. my lover. =))

i dont want to lose you.

2006-03-27T22:01:00.000-08:00

Losing You. -angelicious.
Tears well up in my eyes,
that day you broke the news.
We're moving, you said,
to a far far away place.
we'll be a continent apart,
but that might as well been another planet.
i dont want you to leave
but you dont have a choice.
it's not your choice, not your plan,
but you have to go
and i cant do anything about that.
my world crashed down that day
at the crowded airport.
you seem to be aloof,
but i know that inside, you're raw,
hurting, seething in this unexplainable pain.
we might not see each other again.
that fact hangs in the air
as both of us keep silent.
i suppose this is a temporary goodbye.
au revior, adios, ciao.
i look up as they call your flight number,
you look down and shuffle your feet.
forget this awkwardness.
i shove away all misgivings
and give you a hug.
a sob escapes my lips.
i dont want you to leave.
i dont want you to go.
you stiffly stood there,
silent tears giving you away.
unwillingly, i let go,
but not before making you promise,
not to forget me and to come back.
someday, i see you again.
but for today, i'll nurse my broken heart.
the hurt of you leaving.
=============
i am upset. ryan and alyssa are leaving on friday. that's like -counts on fingers- 4 days away. NOOOOO !!! i'll smuggle them back into singapore, somehow!! with the assistance of my partner-in-crime, debbie, of course. there's no way i'll leave her out.
i cried so much yesterday. i felt guilty not being there after church for ryan as i wanted to see my godbrother in the other church. according to my mom, he cried, and for the first time, i heard that he cried. he never did before. not since i got to know him. he sulked, yes. but he had never cried. i called him during lunch to explain it but after he picked up, i just cried. i was gonna lose someone and i couldnt stop it from happening. i handed the phone to debbie, lis and kathy. while i used up all the tissue in the sushi place. poor people. having to clear up that ton of tissue i left behind. i was so appetiteless. normally i would have ordered my fave dish plus 3 or more plates of sushi but i couldnt even swallow down 2 dishes of sushi.
called him up again so that we could arrange to go out so we decided we would go out on wed. me, ryan and debbie. hahaha. we'll probably bug him into taking neoprints so that we'll have a photo of him. =P
haiz. hope i dont suffer from insomnia again. i hate staying up while everyone else is asleep. skulking around the house like a ghost. not to mention how i keep singing songs last night, trying to get to sleep.

rollerblading.

2006-03-24T05:24:00.000-08:00

oh man oh man oh man. today was so damn fun !!! i cancelled chinese tuition as originally i was gonna stay back for art but in the end, i did stay back for a different reason. i stayed back to help in the filming of the activities going on in school today. there was the teachers' baking session, the teacher vs. vb girls match and a rollerblading lesson for the teachers. lols, the teachers seem to have it good.
i was so excited when miss tan said we could rent the equipment for the rollerblading lesson and join the teachers as well. i begged jimmy to rollerblade too. so we went down and rented the blades, safety stuff plus a helmut. i havent worn a helmut since i was 9 but i did so anyways.
damien joined us later too. so the three of us were trying to remember or in damien's case, learn to rollerblade. we did much better than the teachers though. they wasted their time learning to skate and get up while we skated round and round the hall. it was so darn fun!!
cant wait to go rollerblading again. maybe i'll drag debbie down next time. hahahaha.

cip?

2006-03-23T05:15:00.000-08:00

aaaaaaaaahh!!! so unfair so unfair !!! i got caught for not tucking in my blouse today and now i have to write a 600 word essay. thank goodness i managed to write past that quota. -phew- was feeling so stressed over that issue.
went for the project sphere thingy. we went with the old folks to watch 'i not stupid 2'. it's not as funny a second round though. me and some girls were just gushing over how hot the two boys were. hahaha. we had a very interesting time though. we lost an old man later after the movie and were running around the mall to find him. someone did find him eventually. but we were really tired after that coz we ran up to the fifth floor. heh. maybe i'll volunteer another time. but i dont think it'll be too soon though.

Rain dance, haha.

2006-03-22T21:33:00.000-08:00

Dance. -angelicious

A smile lights up my face
as you weave through the crowd.
You drop a kiss on my cheek
as our friends catcall
and I giggle and blush.
Your arm round my shoulder
as we playfully argue
on what movie to watch.
I want romance,
you insist on comedy
but you give in to me anyway.
We settle down near the back
as the commercials start to roll.
Halfway through,
in a fit of spontaneity,
we ran out.
It is raining but we still run out.
Shrieking and laughing
as we jumped and pranced around.
Water splashes on my legs and your jeans
as we ran through puddles.
We finally take shelter,
panting lightly but all smiles.
And in that moment,
I realised I love you.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
kinda unwell today. was woken up to someone walking outside my room, my ears are too sensitive to noise at times. went to school feeling a little stoned than usual. two people were pissing me off early in the morning and i was in no mood for it so i kinda tried to walk off but i was too tired so i planted myself at the couch opposite the general office. hahahas.
the rest of the school day was boring. my headache started by the time biology was over and i still had cca. luckily, in the end, all i did was sit around and listen to music. hahaha. and laugh at shaun and mark too. they are so GAY. i was so entertained between those two jokers and nat disturbing guocheng while guocheng was having BB practice by eating ice cream and standing in the shade. hahaha. it was so funny.
have to go off and write that crazy 200 word essay on gambling for chinese now. haiz.

A second chance.

2006-03-21T04:48:00.000-08:00

Second Chance -by angelicious.

Something brushes against my leg.
I look up from my drawing
as you sheepishly run up and apologise.
I smile and toss the ball back,
You blind me with your dazzling grin
before joined your friends in a game.
As my pencil hits the paper,
i find myself feverishly drawing
of the scenery, of you.
'That's really nice' you say
as I finally notice your shadow over me.
Your game had ended,
you are sweaty and tanned.
I shift over a bit
to give you more space to sit.
You oblige, basking in the shade.
We rekindled our friendship that day.
The sun is setting,
as i regretfully leave.
Maybe another day
I'll ask you about us again.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
really boring today. maybe i want my old friends back, not the fake ones that i make do with. why is it so unfair ? all of you have gone, i can only watch from a distance as i meld with the background. i'm invisible to the others but to you guys, i'm pretty much a star. thanks for making me feel special. =))
i keep thinking about himm so much. what is it about you that draws me to you? and what draws you to me? we're like a flame flickering in the wind. inconsistent and flighty. hahaha. anyways. when you get the answer, i'll be waiting coz i finally made up my mind. i admit it, i like you. there, plain and simple. i really really like you. and i certainly dont want to let you go.

And the winner takes all.

2006-03-19T22:11:00.000-08:00

You said i meant the world to you
before you walked away
leaving me all confused and relieved,
my emotions in a mess,
but i wasn't a wreck.
there was no boyfriend or lover,
hence no friends to tell me
that i would find a better man,
to give me chocolates and tissues
and laugh about useless you,
not that i would admit that
i was hurting bad
coz that would be untrue.
i never felt more than friendship for you
but you were clearly too blind to see.
maybe i liked the little bit of special attention
but i wasnt falling for it.
you wanted something more
but something i wouldnt give.
it was a challenge.
laid out for you,
to try and get the prize.
but you folded,
when you knew that in the end,
you were never meant to be
the one i would long for.
to be honest,
i was glad you left
so that i could make my move
and crown the one i love keeper of my heart.
but then you changed your mind
and decided to fight it to the end.
too bad for you though,
as i've moved on
and dont plan on ever taking you back.
so long, farewell,
as the spoils go to the deserving victor,
my prince, keeper of my affections.
=-=-=-=
woke up really early this morning coz i thought i would have to take bus to church. imagine my horror and shock when i opened the bathroom door and in the dark corner, a shockful of jet-black hair. my brother had been squatting outside the bathroom door by my skateboard, waiting for whoever was in the shower to come out and keep him company. he was interested in the fact taht i was going to Mac's for breakfast and cell and asked to come along. so we begged my mom to allow him to do so which she did. it was so cool.
jessica decided to join us too since my little brother was there. it was so cute!! like a young, married couple. hahahha. unfortunately, i dont think they'll get married coz my brother doesnt want 8 kids and to have them all named Jackie but Jessic, however, did. pity really. it would make a good love story. lovers destined since birth. haahaha. i would write a story on it and make it a bestseller, somehow.
it was really fun, trying to find the perfect goodbye present for ryyan, alyssa and zackie with debbie. neither of us, however, are willing to accept the fact that they're moving away and so soon!! i want to cry. i'm losing my godbrother. whyy? this is so unfair!
my cousins came over for dinner. we TRIED to watch 'Brothers Grimm' but the cd was spoilt. so the ending was pretty abrupt and rather unfinished. haiz. unfair again. hope tomorrow would be bearable as the first day back at school from the one week break.

volleyball it.

2006-03-18T22:25:00.000-08:00

wheeeeeeeee. today was FUN!!
hahha. i had history class this morning. it RAWKS. i love history!!! whoohoo whoohoo !!! ahahaha. feeling super hyper coz i chugged down a bottle of Sprite and am nursing a headache. lols. i'm a little drunk i guess.
went for teens time today. was feeling kinda lethargic at the beginning coz of the cool weather and the music the school band was playing didnt helpt. it made me feel even more sleepier. haha. later, me & faith played volleyball. oh man oh man. it is so good to find a partner to play with!! ^^ we played until now my hand look like a shrivelled version of a EXTREMELY cooked lobster. lols. all red and angry-looking. hahaha. hurts to touch too but that rocks. i like poking my hand and see it shudder before it dies down again. i think i'm pyschotic. maybe i'll be like shakespeare or some famous writer. write incerdibly inspiring or interestingly pyschotic books before killing myself. HAHA! cant wait for that to happen. well, the writing a book issue not the i will kill myself issue. lols.
this is FUN. =D

someday, in the future.

2006-03-17T23:56:00.000-08:00

friday. my friends told me that they couldnt make it to go watch Dorm. so me and my sis decided to go out and watch a movie and have lunch after chinese tuition. we rushed to bugis, just on the dot to watch 'yours, mine and ours'. nice comedy show. =) i love the wacky fact of having 18 kids. cant even imagine anyone having more than 4. btw, the bugis branch sells horrible nacho cheese. BLEAHX. it looks totally diluted and it has a layer of oil or water or SOMETHING on it. GROSS!!!
was feeling pretty full but my sister insisted she wanted to eat at pastamania so we went there and i ended up eating HALF her meal. lols. thanks, Liss. then we went to buy some magz. or at least i bought 2 and ensured the fact that i had spent my week's allowance on those US imported magazines. haix.

was feeling kinda unhappy by evening coz i wanted to go for the nightcycling thingy but i cancelled my name coz i felt that attending the 'goodbye' dinner for ryan, alyssa and zackie was more important. i felt like a total jerk when they came. i mean it's probably one of the last few times i see them and i act like a spoilt brat. haiz. the dinner sucked. it was for the adults basically. so debs and i snuck out to the playground and swung on the swings until a bunch of annoying kids from the OTHER party decided they want to terrorize the whole playground and liberate the swings from us. so we gave up and went to sit somewhere else. =))
we talked about loads of things. i felt so good, getting to bond and laugh over silly little things and our imagination getting carried away. i loved that part. whyy? coz i think i got one weird imagination and using it then was fun!

hahahhaha. i love being me.

the roundabout way

2006-03-15T06:06:00.000-08:00

had to wake up early for bio today. was unable to sleep too. kept waking up every hour or so from 12 a.m. onwards. haiz. was half-zonked out before bio. worse still, we had to do experiments, had to be extra careful. but that didnt help coz i ended up getting a cut on my finger when trying to exert a bit more strength to cut the potato. OWWIES.
went out and watched big momma's house 2. was very silly actually. then went to take neoprints with lis. damn funn. we must do it more often. =))
went to watch kevin's performance at Paya Lebar Methodist Church. the place looked huge. was such an enlightening experience. like i found God all over again. i ended up crying coz i felt this overwhelming and unexplainable feeling wash over me. the woman, Cathie, sang and danced along with the children, it's unbelievable that she's a grandmother already. I thought she was younger than MY mom.
thank you Lord for showing me the way. To light up my path again. To renew my faith once more. =))

First Love.

2006-03-10T05:32:00.000-08:00

~I wrote this during maths and chemistry periods. was feeling oddly weird then, like a really comfortable feeling enveloping me then. still feel it now. =))~

First Love

You stand all by your lonesome,
on that lovely, windy day.
My heart beats in anticipation
as I ran up to you.
A smile blossoms on your face
as you turn to greet me.
We walk in cheerful silence
with comments along the way.
The path is familiar
as we headed to our hideaway.
A childish laugh is heard
as I try to give myself a headstart.
But you soon catch up to me.
Running done on your part.
We collapse under the old, bare tree,
feeling tired but happy.
We relax, and I rest my head on your shoulder.
I close my eyes and feel the cool wind.
You softly call my name,
I look up, with questioning eyes.
Your sweet lips on mine.
I blink before parting.
Flushed with thrill and embarrassment,
I press my face aginst your chest
as you content with stroking my hair.
We stay like that all afternoon,
a few timid kisses in between.
Darkness falls,
as we reluctantly to leave,
our hands intertwined.
First love,
innocent and sweet.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
had a pretty good day. was kinda worried that i would screw up the announcements this morning as so many came in a few minutes before the first bell rang. nearly had a panic attack beforehand. hahaha.
pretty enjoyable. just slack during english. played a bit of soccer and volleyball during pe, feeling a little moody then though. spent my recess sitting with jiantao, jimmy and all his gal pals whom i didnt talk to. quite sickening actually. everyone kept interrupting when we were trying to plan for the friday movie trip. haiz. and as shown above, my works during three periods of maths and chem. LOL. spent a fair bit of time daydreaming during bio today. was so hungry i couldnt concentrate.
read the 'saffron' skies book again. i really really LOVE it. i love amber, tende and their kids. poor kieran and paola and alessandra. they really dont deserve what they were going through. and becky, I hate her!! she betrayed amber twice over. madeleine, bless her, she really went through so much. so did angela and francesca, fighting over Max's affections. I LOVE SAFFRON SKIES !!! i hope that i'll be able to write a book as wonderful as that. =))

All about loving you.

2006-03-09T06:00:00.000-08:00

ALL ABOUT LOVING YOU
-Bon Jovi

Looking at the pages of my life
Faded memories of me and you
Mistakes you know I've made a few
I took some shots and fell from time to time
Baby, you were there to pull me through
We've been around the block a time or two
I'm gonna lay it on the line
Ask me how we've come this far
The answer's written in my eyes

Every time I look at you,
baby, I see something new
That takes me higher than before and makes me want you more
I don't wanna sleep tonight, dreamin's just a waste of time
When I look at what my life's been comin' to
I'm all about lovin' you
I've lived, I've loved, I've lost, I've paid some dues, baby
We've been to hell and back again
Through it all you're always my best friend
For all the words I didn't say and all the things I didn't do
Tonight I'm gonna find a way

Every time I look at you, baby,
I see something new
That takes me higher than before and makes me want you more
I don't wanna sleep tonight, dreamin's just a waste of time
When I look at what my life's been comin' to
I'm all about lovin' you
You can take this world away
You're everything I am
Just read the lines upon my face
I'm all about lovin' you

Every time I look at you, baby,
I see something new
That takes me higher than before and makes me want you more
I don't wanna sleep tonight, dreamin's just a waste of time
When I look at what my life's been comin' to
I'm all about lovin' you
All about lovin' you
=-=-=--=--=-=
today was the spotcheck. checked 2/3 with Moon Jun. hahah. i told him 2/3 was probably the class at the balcony and in the end, i was right! yowza! the number of students whose hair failed the spotcheck was probably about half the school. hahahaha. so many students gathered in the parade square. wasted more time and by the time i went for first period, there was about 10 mins left. yay!!
school was alright overall. mevalia, me, sebastien, jeremy and louis sat together during mt today. very crampish but comfy. lols. spent my maths periods, talking and being bullied by calvin. he sprayed water all over me. arghx!! my shirt was all wet. crazy boy.
art was really funny. kept talking to jacky and chris today. feel so bad that i ignored joey and filzah. we had fun though. kept laughing over nyias' actions. i think i got a stomachache coz of that.
wheeee. spent time talking to yiwen and kenneth today. i think i talk a lot better on msn with them. hahaha. hopefully we get to spend time AWAY from the computers/laptops one day.

Wistful.

2006-03-08T06:09:00.000-08:00

Where are you going, where have you been?
My dear, close, and quiet friend,
As we sit in the soft springtime Saturday's end
Taking comfort in each other once again.
Tell me your stories and I'll tell you mine;
And so we will pass a few hours time
With the quaint and the comic and even sublime -
Silently searching for that elusive sign.
We'll fashion the future and polish the past,
Allowing the memories to amass;
While the grains of sand slip through the glass
'Til a tranquil lull pervades at last.
Conversation fades with the eve's golden light,
We cannot go on, try though we might;
So you gather me an embrace so tight,
And we wistfully, longingly say goodnight.
======
it's been so long since i've felt this good in school. sebas asked me to take charge this morning. was kinda late coz i just HAD to take my time to tie up my hair. hahaha. i hate tying up my hair. went down to see rachel and han jun already there. rachel was super hyper. hahaa. she made my teeth hurt, she's so perky. Lols.
btw, i'm writing this as my annoying mother irritates me and pisses me off as per normal. i hate her !!! she always got something against me. UGH. annoying.
physics was so boring. i felt like sleeping. then followed by art. oh man oh man. it was so dull there too. the only reason i didnt drop dead of boredom was because i kept smsing and talking to filzah. hahaa. my saviour!! i forgot to bring my maths jotter book and felt really scared coz i had forgotten to bring previously and would hate to be punished again. thankfully kaizer lent me his. in the end, we didnt need it also. ahahaha. -phew- thank goodness. i failed my math test. haiz. it was so boring during mt coz lao shi wasnt there. so we stayed in our classroom. sat next to sebastien then. he was doing his poa homework and i just stoned and drew all over my foolscap. we finally left to get jonathan and sarah for assembly (HAPPY BIRTHAY SARAH!) before rushing off for the YMCA meeting. the man felt that me & sebastien could be leaders. -wow- i feel so honoured. hahaha.
-------
it's really distracting. you keep changing so fast. it's hard to keep up. although i dont plan to coz it'll probably end in heartaches for both of us. but i think you dont get it. just waiting and waiting for you to see that though. i dont ever wanna hurt you. then again neither do you wanna hurt me.

Better Untouched

2006-03-07T06:36:00.000-08:00

=-=-=-- Better Untouched.
I look at him,
And a smile grows in my face.
Just to remember the times,
When he could've been mine.

As he gives me a hug,
While he puts his arms around me.
I remember what I would've gave
To only have a chance with him.

But now I see him,
In a different light.
Yes, he still means the world to me,
But now its a different way.

His friendship means a lot to me,
Although we never had much anything else.
Now I see why God doesn't answer all prayers,
Because some things are left better untouched.
=-=-=-=-
yiwen, you big bully!! ahahah. leave poor poor tudi alone. he's so pathetic, dont bully him anymore. hahaha. help me bully some others though. i need your -coughs- expertise. hahaa. we've got lots to do on sunday. yea!
DEEBEE, hahah. my requisite best friend in the soulmate equation, =)) thank you thank you thank you. my new jogging partner as well -beams-. hahaha. my anti-physics fren and her anti-chem friend. lols. but we're pro-bio!! yay!! give a shout, man! we feel stupid, and contagious!! ahahaha.
dante, the devilious to my angelicious. what do you mean by that ?!?! keep your mind out of the gutter! and keep the magz out too as well. ahahaha. terrible boy. =))
joey, johnny, my beloved brothers that i missed out on having, where have you gone? doesnt mean you're gone means that i've forgotten about you. thanks for the dumb email though. =)) Iwanna see my future sis-in-law's pic too!!! ahahah. i love you!! <33

When you love someone.

2006-03-04T05:12:00.000-08:00

today was a pretty okay day. i had a maths and chem test. hope i dont do badly in either test. just didnt seem to know enough to actually do the papers. haiz.

was so worried coz he avoided me the whole evening. i think i overreacted. i know i have gotten too close again. it's affecting me so badly now even though the one who should be hurting is him. poor debbie. she had to listen to me rant and worry about it. i guess i was a real basketcase then.

we went running which made me feel a LOT better. hmmm. reminder to self, when upset, go running. ryan was in the lead at first before i overtook him but he overtook me later anyways. he's a good runner.

======

When You Love Someone
by Preppie

When you love someone so deep inside,
It seems like it's so easy to hide.
You've loved him for so very long,
You would think he could do no wrong.
Every day you would hope and pray,
That he would always stay this way.
He treated you like you should be treated,
You thought your life was finally completed.
You thought your love was growing true,
And then one day it was all so blue.
He started putting you down and it hurt,
You thought all you were to him was dirt.
He started ignoring you and you wondered why,
All you wanted to do was curl up and die.
You thought your relationship would never end,
But that was all so fake and pretend.
One night he was so sweet to you,
You thought all those things were maybe untrue,
Two days later he was back the same,
You thought you were the one to blame.
He thought the relationship was getting too serious
And that you had become a little too curious.
By this time you knew it wouldn't last,
All the nice things he said were in the past.
You thought that you would marry him some day,
But this time God wanted to get his way.
You wanted things back how they were before,
But you knew this couldn't happen anymore.
It was a Saturday night about ten o'clock,
You heard the news and it wasn't a shock.Y
ou knew this was going to happen soon,
As you laid there and cried in the pale lit moon.

thank you, debs. =))

2006-03-01T06:29:00.000-08:00

this lyrics are for Debbie. Just wanna thank you for being there for me these past 14 years. =))

Always - Bon Jovi

This Romeo is bleeding, but you can't see his blood
It's nothing but some feelings
That this old dog kicked up
It's been raining since you left me
Now I'm drowning in the flood
You see I've always been a fighter
But without you I give up

Now I can't sing a love song
Like the way it's meant to be
Well, I guess I'm not that good anymore
But baby, that's just me

Yeah I, will love you, baby
Always and I’ll be there
Forever and a day, always

I'll be there, till the stars don't shine
Till the heavens burst and the words don't rhyme
I know when I die you'll be on my mindand
I'll love you, always

Now your pictures that you left behind
Are just memories of a different life
Some that made us laugh
Some that made us cry
One that made you have to say goodbye
What I'd give to run my fingers through your hair
Touch your lips, to hold you near,
When you say your prayers, try to understand
I've made mistakes; I'm just a man
When he holds you close, when he pulls you near
When he says the words
You've been needing to hear, I'll wish I was him
'Cause these words are mine, to say to you
'Til the end of time

Yeah I, will love you, baby
Always and I’ll be there
Forever and a day, always

If you told me to cry for you, I could
If you told me to die for you, I would
Take a look at my face
There's no price i won't pay
To say these words to you
Well, there ain't no luck in these loaded dice
But baby, if you give me just one more try
We can pack up our old dreams, and our old lives,
We'll find a place, where the sun still shines

Yeah I, will love you, baby
Always and I’ll be there
Forever and a day, always

I'll be there, till the stars don't shine
Till the heavens burst and the words don't rhyme
I know when I die you'll be on my mind
and I'll love you, always.

In Another Life - Ashlee Simpson

2006-03-01T06:24:00.000-08:00

Ashlee Simpson
In Another Life
Do you love me
oh do you love me
I say so
Do you need me
oh do you need me
God I hope I get this feeling deep inside
That somewhere somehow you've passed me by
I can't put my finger on it but
The more that I see you the more that I know
Everywhere you go is everything I've been
You finish all my sentences before they begin
And I know that look in your eyes
It's like I've seen you before about a million times
In another life,
In another life maybe, in another life you must've been mine
You make me feel so
You make me feel so
Beautiful
It doesn't matter
No it never matters it we're out or home
We can make ours into years
Wherever you go you're always here
It's like I've known you from before
But I'm just so happy you walked through my door
I'm breathing you in
I'm breathing you out
You're all around me
No matter what we do
I wanna spend my life with you only you
Do you love me oh do you love me
Say you love me oh say you love me
It's like I've seen you before about a million times
In another life, in another life maybe
In another life you must've been mine
Do you love oh say you love me

Columbine shootings.

2006-02-28T06:28:00.000-08:00

oh my gosh !! it's so scary. i'm watching the Columbine shooting incident. it's really horrifying. imagine be terrorized by two fairly insane male teens who were toting guns and bombs. it is terribly freaky. the deaths, the sound of glass breaking and the gunshots. it's still fresh in my memory. oh man oh man oh man. I'm so thankful that Singapore is comparatively safer than there.

i remember reading about it last year i think. in the reader's digest. at least i think it was in there. it was very sad. i cried that night. it just struck me so deeply. oh gosh. they killed so many teens. and they werent even affected by it. one of the males even said 'cool, i cant believe i did that.' oh gosh. i wanna cry again. it's really so despicable. they just killed mercilessly. it's like the impending doom for the poor students who were previously studying before that. funnily enough, they spared this guy's life becoz he treated them with respect. they told him to run which he did before killing a 15 year old teen. these innocent children/teens are being murdered. it just makes me realise how short life can be.

Waiting for youu.

2006-02-27T06:15:00.000-08:00

i dont know how
you remain oblivious to how i feel.
maybe my hints arent strong enough
or maybe you just wanna avoid me.
i'm tired of tears or my hopes getting crushed.
i like to think that you are just shy
and taking this a step at a time
but it seems like this is taking forever.
so i'm gonna ask you
whether you want to be together or not
i'm gonna wait for your reply
coz i'm in love with you
hoping you wont break my heart
or do something stupid enough.
my friends think i should move on
and that you're just a waste of time
but i remain stubborn and wait.
dont disappoint me,
you were the best friend then
and i still think you are now
but where has that person gone?
i hope it's not too late to save him
or else i will never tell him how i feel.
i'm pouring all this out coz i know that
when i'm with you
these words are difficult to say,
i'm all tongue-tied
and so are you.
i love you, i will suddenly say.
then you'll reward me with a smile
as we make the first steps into something so beautiful.

teens time.

2006-02-25T21:37:00.000-08:00

wow. i really enjoyed teens time. i was kinda afraid to go alone. then thankfully i heard that rachel MIGHT be coming, so i went with the hula-hoop/bday card for uncle dennis' bday. thankfully, rachel, eliza and janice were there.

enjoyed myself for games. i felt really awkward at first coz i was suffering from a sore butt. right. how the heck that happened, i had no idea. i loved playing captain's ball and touch rugby. it's still one of the sports i suck at but heyy, i'm only there to enjoy myself. =))

Day of the BBQ.

2006-02-24T23:55:00.000-08:00

school was alright i guess. i manage to enjoy myself. or maybe coz i was excited about the BBQ later in the evening. was so glad that bio was only half an hour long today. i wanted to go to Tiong with yehfri and jimmy and have lunch instead of just going home and lazing around or being asked to study.

we went to Tiong and ate Mac's. kinda typical afternoon. just walked around the place. yehfri ended buying some chain thingy. very weirdd. later yehfri took the bus home while me & jimmy took the mrt. abandoned him at clarke quay. ahahaha. long ride back for him. poor guy.

the BBQ ROCKED !!! the club house had a billiard table so me, valerie, ruben and debbie played. ruben's neighbour, raine (something liddat), also played. realised that ruben actually is just the quiet type of guy. and here i thought he was just acting cool or plain unfriendly. i enjoyed myself.

later, raine, ruben and I took turns telling ghost stories and scaring the other two plus a few others scared shitEless. lols. bless the english for thinking up another way to say 'poop'. hahahhahaa.

the day before the BBQ.

2006-02-23T06:28:00.000-08:00

yeah. i thought i would be late for school today coz i was so slow. i felt unnaturally sluggish this morning. came to school and guess what ?!?! i had to do announcements. in front of the whole school coz an ex-minister passed away the night before. i cant pronounce his name much try to spell it so i wont bother, it would be very insulting if i spelt it wrongly. i felt so nervous. i hate going in front of crowds coz i feel extremely STOOOOPID. hahaha.

i am so dead. didnt really have time to study for physics yesterday. i am so sure i failed already, half the answers seem to be wrong. haiz. after doing pretty okay for the other paper, this is gonna be so disappointing.

did afterschool duty with jimmy and gai yan today. (er, btw i dunno how to spell her name). so funn. we took 3 walkie talkies even though we obviously needed only 2. i made sure i took my fave number, walkie talkie no. 5. ahahaha. we signed in under Benjamin's name coz we didnt feel like putting down our own names.

i think there was a group who got tipped off that we were coming coz by the time we came, there was the smell of cigarette smoke but obviously we couldnt accuse them coz we had no evidence that it was actually THEM who was smoking. so we walked on but we informed gah yan about it though. we were walking in the bball court when Adriel called me over coz he wanted to play with the walkie talkie but i didnt let him coz i saw mr teo walking a little further off. we basically walked around and watched the two pe teachers walk around too before going back. quite fun actually. maybe i would volunteer another day.

not so subtle difference.

2006-02-19T04:56:00.000-08:00

it's been ... what? ... 5 years already. so many changes. so many challenges we all have faced. it seems very sudden that everything has changed. we're no longer the same naiive kids we once were but inexperienced teenagers, unsure of almost everything.

it's too sudden. the change almost subtle when BAM! it blows up in our faces. we're now young ladies and men. interested in how the opposite gender's lives. maybe it's too late to yearn for the past but i cant help it.

there never used to be this empty, awkward gap. no difference between a girl and a boy but now, there is. maybe it's a good thing, maybe it's bad. all i hope is that nothing ever changes coz i dont ever want to lose what we once had. something i held dear.

Saturday Blues.

2006-02-18T05:59:00.000-08:00

haiz. was woken up early by my grandmother getting up and slamming the door. darn this sensitive ears. i just remembered slipping in between sleeping and half-awake sort of state. finally, i gave in to my alarm clock which i had previously set the night before as i had history lesson.

ended up talking to jimmy who apparently had fallen asleep pretty much right after everyone went home yesterday. he apologised for not replying to me & yehfri's messages and then when we decided to have a phone conference, yehfri was still sleeping so we gave up on the idea.

helped both jimmy and yehfri set up their own blogs, which is linked to mine already. yay!! hahhaa. unfortunately for me, all those, who went watch i not stupid too with me, blogged about me crying in the movie. i think i cried enough for the whole group. hahaha. someone even commented i too soft-hearted. this sort of movie already moved me to tears. hahaha.

was so bored listening to jimmy and yehfri talk about their steamboat dinner (2/4 reunion or something) but i wasnt so jealous after all i've been there before just a couple of weeks ago and i had a BLAST!!!

had dinner at CHIJMES there. had such a wonderful brazilian grill thingy. the waiters or whatever they were called came with this shish-keboab/skewer thingamajig and served different sorts of meat which were cooked differently from the next. the last part was grilled pineapple which actually tasted so good but it gave me a terrible tummy ache. it was really bittersweet. yums.

Puffy Eyes.

2006-02-17T05:43:00.000-08:00

Today was cross-country. -nods- the time of the year where i am all but forced to run. hahas. But thankfully this year i didnt have to run. Why, you may ask? i was chosen to help with the registration. btw, it was merely to ask ex-outramians, recent or not so recent graduates, to sign a guest book and to write their address down if they were interested in the latest news of school. yupps. so i sat there, sun in my face. and waited, waited and waited some more.

it's kinda doubtful that people were gonna walk over to the overbaked tent and sit around there, when there was a shadier area to go and sit. riight. so in the end, the three people who were there, me, sebas and yan ting, helped out with the Young house 'body art'. Lols. I ended up 'mummifying' my fingers by wrapping them up in red tape. Lols. although it did remind me of those fingerless gloves. so fun. although it did get uncomfortable when we got it wet. yucks.

afteer we were dismissed, me, mevalia and vanessa went around looking for yehfri and jimmy coz we were suppose to go out together. jimmy was helping out in the clean up while yehfri had gone ahead coz it was really crowded in the 'dismissal area'.

we ended up in heeren but went over to eat at cineleisure. was dying to go watch a movie. besides, i not stupid too was going for 6 bucks if we produced our ez-link cards as evidence that we were students so why not? unfortunately the movie was only at around 2+ and i had to be back before 4. and according to the lady it was about 2 hours and 2o mins. no way i was gonna be able to watch it. so we took 2 cabs to plaza singapura since we couldnt squeeze 5 of us into the cab.

The three girls went in the first cab while the two boys went in another one. kinda funny coz we were actually expecting them to be right behind us but they werent. luckily the one at ps started at 1.20 and we were about 2 minutes late so it wouldnt matter since the first 6 minutes or so was advertisements. thank goodness.

so we watched i not stupid too. our seating arrangement went like this - Vanessa, Mevalia, me, Yehfri and lastly Jimmy. I love sitting in the middle, it's really really fun. or at least i think so since nobody else wanted to sit there. or maybe it was coz i already 'reserved' that seat for myself. haha!

it was so touching. i ended up crying. it was those kind of hiccuping sobs or whatever. i pity yehfri coz i'm used to turning to my left when i'm upset so he ended hearing me mumble and cry more. hahaha. i ended with red, puffy eyes which hurts now. blinking seems so difficult and my vision isnt exactly clear but i totally enjoyed myself. woots.

Just Sick and Tired.

2006-02-13T05:08:00.000-08:00

I'm tired of being a shadow.
I'm tired of your games.
I'm sick of being the puppet
and obey your every whim.
I'm not a toy to be played with
then tossed aside when you've had your fun.
So i'm ending this, once and for all.
I'm leaving this very moment.
I like to be treated nicely,
and may act like a brat
but everyone has their limits too
and when it pushes over,
that's the end of that.
I'd love to say I hate you
Your arrogance pisses me off
but I smile instead.
And just for today,
I'll walk away.

you really piss me off. using me just to lighten your load. well, i'm sick of it. i dont care anymore. i dont really bother. you can find someone else who's willing to take up this shit coz i wont help you anymore. dont try calling me or talking. it doesnt help. it only makes me more angrier. i'm leaving you behind coz i dont wanna fight. but our friendship will never be the same again after this.

=HAPPY BIRTHDAY JONATHAN!!!=

Leaving You Behind.

2006-02-13T05:04:00.000-08:00

Since that fateful day
when you walked away
I've been trying to
cover up the huge, empty
gap in my life
which was once you.
It's hard and I
may have tried to go back
but with fierce determination
I'll leave you behind.

it's great to breathe the fresh air again without feeling trapped. maybe it's better this way, dont you think? i hope you understand what i mean. nothing personal though.

Just Too Blind To See.

2006-02-10T05:53:00.000-08:00

i've been waiting.
always standing in the background.
just watching the world go by.
i was happy, content.
in control of my own world.
then you came and threw it upside down.
and suddenly you were the centre of my world.
you were like an addiction.
i was helpless against it.
but then you grew on me.
and i let you in without complaint.
you provided friendship and a little more than that.
a crush was born.
i let it be, my defences were down.
i gathered up my courage to tell you.
only to find that you were into someone else.
i realised that i loved you.
and i was crushed.
it seemed like i could not live without you.
and i dont know what to do.
maybe i was just blinded to see your true intentions.

Too Late For Words.

2006-02-08T06:28:00.000-08:00

A part of me died today
when you left.
You were scared, I could see.
With a sinking heart,
I knew what was coming.
Three simple words,
that's all it takes.
But you're buying time.
Something's off with this.
You ask me why.
Why did I run away?
Was it just me or you
but something's wrong with
this image.
You start pacing as
I admire your frame once again.
You ask again.
What am I to you?
Three simple words I said.
You complete me.
Taken by surprise,
you stole my first kiss.
It was bittersweet
as it ended too soon.
T'm sorry, you said,
It's just too late.
And together,
with my first goodbye kiss,
you left, never to be mine again.

-it feels awfully lonely. darkness swirls around me. it seems like i just cant live without you. i'll just wait and see. but after that, i will leave. it's no longer our story. it ended without a 'happily after' like most stories would.-

There's Nothing Left For You to Say.

2006-02-07T06:02:00.000-08:00

Were you playing with my heart ?
Were you toying with my emotions ?
You run hot and cold.
It's hard for me to guess.
I'm sick and tired of it.
I just want to know
Did you love me or not ?
I could have waited for your reply
But I chose not to
Coz I know it'll only break my heart.
I would love to wipe that smirk
off your face
But I would hate to lose that
smile you have.
I'm ending all this right now.
I'll take my grand exit, stage left.
But I know you won't care.
You'll replace me with someone else
And the chase will start again.
There'll be no tears for you.
I won't shed.
And even if I do,
I know it will never
mean anything to you.

it's really depressing to keep running away from everything. so i'm ending it right now. it's officially over, plain and simple. No explainations, nothing. If you want an answer so badly, you can ask your 'friends', it's hard to face you, not again.

P.S. all these poems/lyrics/whatevermacallits are mine. I wrote them, I didnt copy them off from somewhere.

first day ?

2006-02-03T23:55:00.000-08:00

right ... today was my first day i did annoucements ... well thankfully i did it with zalikha .. she did the first half and i did the second half .. man .. that was a lot of annoucements actually ... i was super nervous that i could practically feel my heart beating in my throat ... hahaha ... i actually enjoyed it .. it was so 'funerific' ... hahaha ...

so sad that andria's going back tomorrow ... and i wont get to see her off coz i'll be having history lesson then ... it's a pity she wont come back until july ... that's like in another 5 months ... i cant understand how did 2 months feel so short .. well ... until then, we'll just keep counting down until she flies back from down under ... ahaha

No Way In.

2006-01-31T07:42:00.000-08:00

It feels odd
to watch days go by
as we once did before.
It seemed great
to have someone watch my back.
But i guess I forgot
And on the way, I let my defences slip.
Opened my world to you.
Letting it be robbed of precious jewels
And you slipped away -
Like a thief in the night
Allowing me to wallow in hurt.
I feel like i'm drowning
In this endless ocean
we once shared
but had become naught but an empty gap.
So I stand at the edge,
wishing all this away.
While you, the robber of my affections,
escape, unnoticed.
And so I learn
were there a day you came back,
the doors will be locked, there's no way in
coz there's no way I'll let you
to break my heart again.

you cant make me!!

2006-01-31T06:59:00.000-08:00

aaaaaahh ... there's school tomorrow ... arghx ... to be honest i dont have any mood to go to school ... especially now that i'm confused with some new arrangements ... bleahx ... stupid stupid stupid ...
sighx ... feel so exhausted even though i havent been to school yet ... just thinking about it makes me tired ... why did this have to happen ? i hate the arrangement i have ... how i wish it could just be normal ... or i could have it normal ... but unfortunately, i dont ...
i dont have the mood to write anything else now ... sigh ... i wish i could though ... it's really fun to be able to express ... too bad very few people actually understand it ...

trapped.

2006-01-30T07:39:00.000-08:00

i feel so trapped
between you & me,
a dirty little secret it will be.
it could take all night,
all year or life eternity
but a secret it shall be.
I wanna let it go
but something holds me back
has it got to do with you or me?
Maybe so.
But until someday,
I will never know.

how come it's so difficult to just let go of something? I feel so hung up and lost. It hurts to see others move on and that I am stuck in mere wishful thinking. I just wanna let go of everything. it sucks to wake up and realise it's nothing more than an illusion. wish i could just wash away all this pain. lose all the memories too, if i could.
maybe some day it will. but for now, I will look on enviously as you walk away. disappearing into the background of this story and leaving me to finish it. And you know i cant until i let go. but that seems so impossible coz the pain is too new, too raw. too foreign a feeling, too uncommon to register. so what is it? till then, i will never know.
i think you knew. the moment you threw us away. that i would die. the little piece of me you killed in you, it killed the rest of me. and you walked out of my life without even saying goodbye. leaving me and everything we had behind. did you ever consider my feelings? i guess not. if not you would have known about the pain i feel all over now.
until i learn to pick myself up. i will tell you again and again. iloveyou. but it just echoes on. leaving me heartbroken and alone. one day i will be able to jump, sing, laugh but until then, i'll say those words again, i love you.

happy CNY ?

2006-01-29T03:43:00.000-08:00

oh yeahh ... it's the first day of the chinese new year and it falls on a sunday ... and naturally, me & andria wont take no as an answer ... we had our minds set on going to church and we were going even if it meant that i had to wake my dad up ... which we didnt have to as my mom offered to send us anyway ... hahaha ...

andria was wearing this purple-y dress while i, for the first time in years, wore a halter neck top with a white top ... hahaha ... well .. a translucent wihte top ... and i loved it ... imagine that ... after like four years without halter necks or skirts, i have fallen back in love with it ... hahaha ... me & andria are gonna have do do some crazy shopping before she goes back ... she's my fashion adviser ... hahhaa ... i'm still partial to my comfy shirt & jeans combo which my parents hate ... hahha ...

oh gosh ... i kinda forgot how to first day is ... it's SUPER boring ... ergh ... i could have died of boredom ... my cousins & i normally dont really talk during this kind of thing ... if it were new year or christmas or just a normal visit, we could talk or watch a movie or something but today it seemed quite impossible ... which makes me nervous as tomorrow is the lunch with the 2nd cousins as well ... ARGH !!!

being me, the insufferable bored person ... i ended prankcalling someone i couldnt say i'm fond of ... unfortunately, i realised my mistake was he could call or sms his other friends, who were acquaintances or friends of mine as well. this could mean that my mini-pranking spree would come to an end should one of his/my friends told him ... which meant a phonecall to _a___n and naturally, being those nice, naive people, we told him about it without asking whether the said prank-victim was around ... which obviously and unfortunately was and he had us on loudspeaker ... damn ... i felt cheated ... then a__r__ and I were upset as we had trusted him but now i just don know how to say ...

HOW COULD YOU HAVE BETRAYED US?!?!

walking in the rain

2006-01-18T03:27:00.000-08:00

hmmm ... first time i understood a bit of my physics lesson ... ki yeow and rafeeq sat in front of me & sajetah which made it very entertaining ... to be honest i actually envied that the guys arent afraid of arguing back ... sigh ... the curse of being a councillor ... need to set a good 'example' for the others ... annoying ...

started raining very heavily when i was on the way home. not to mention there were two obnoxious young men seated behind me talking about the law, David Marshall and was somewhat obscene. at first they were willing not to mention it as i was kinda in front of them ... but it didnt seem to bother them five minutes later the only thing i could do was pretend that i was deep in thought but i just felt really embarassed and annoyed at their crude jokes. they moved on to talking about girls and the guy with the fake kind of blonde hair was all 'oh, i've dated a few chio ones but you know, i dont think i would date nerdy girls. you know, the kind with thick glasses, always reading a book and smart, not my type'. pfft, as if anyone asked for his opinion. then they start discussing which jcs or polytechnics have the 'hottest' babes.

thankfully my ex-HGS friend came up the bus and we got off the same bus stop but it was raining really heavily then. my umbrella, the stupid one that got spoilt two days after i used it, didnt want to open so i was stuck there for a couple of minutes before it popped open.

of course, it started raining even more heavily. the roads were flooded so i skirted around the puddles and tried to walk faster as i feared to get splashed by a car or bus. it didnt matter whether i was using an umbrella or not coz i was totally drenched by the time i reached the car park of the estate. so i called kevin to come down with those huge umbrellas so i could use a proper umbrella. by then i had taken off my shoes so prevent it from getting more wet than it already was. i ended up prancing around in my socks as we walked back to the block. it was a really great feeling, although trust me you wouldnt wanna walk without socks at the most as the water felt squishy(kinda like really diluted mud) and was a funny light brown ... yucks ... hahaha, the highlight of my day came from the worst part of the day i always hate ... the heavy rain ...

give me no homework or give me death

2006-01-16T04:47:00.000-08:00

what is it with teachers and assigning herculean amounts of homework???? okay, it's not like i got a lot of homework today but i just realised it is still a pretty huge load ... i know i know ... i'm 15 this year ... should be used to it or at least deal with it but i cant, i mean how stupid can they be ? we just started the school year about two weeks ago ... it'll take a miracle to get into the grind within that time already but the homework load? it's a killer.

tomorrow's the photojournalism course. i think it's about writing articles just like a journalist which apparently might be a genre of its own. i cant remember whether i know anyone well enough on this course. hope there is or i'll be alone the whole 12 sessions. hmmm ... sessions sound wrong ... i feel like i'm seeing a counsellor or physchiatrist ... heh ...

trying to compose the letter to approve my buddy, andria, to attend my school for next week. hahaha ... i dont really know how to write it and if i asked my mom she might be pissed that i'm distracting my studies this way ... whateverr ... it's the whole point isnt it ? for an 'exchange friend' to come but basically it's to have a buddy to giggle in class (not saying that i dont have that currently but this particular friend has known me since she was born) hahaha ...

the dark

2006-01-10T03:55:00.000-08:00

okay. Originally the plan was to go out, meet the sec 2s and a few stray sec 3s, watch a movie(possibly king kong), have lunch, wander until 4 or 5 then go home. but that didnt happen.

I begged a friend to follow along as I didnt feel like being the only sec 3 (at first) and the oldest one there. In the end, the person I invited was still younger than me. hmph, go figure.

it was really funny. Ryan, Lyndon, Bryan and Solomon were playing in the arcade ... or at least I saw Lyndon playing and the rest watching him. they were so engrossed that they practically didnt notice me and my friend, jimmy- from school- there. then i had a case of the giggles and decided to go outside of the arcade, only to get spotted by Andria and her ex-MGS schoolmate and neighbour, Amanda.

=Cool, i'm doing this in front of the tv coz i like watching x-men:evolution (i know, i know, grow up, Laura but whatever) and that Kitty/Shadowcat is also blogging/emailing about her life. Lovely. I dont wish to be the nerd/loner.=

jimmy left later before the movie, because he didnt feel comfortable watching a horror movie with my church mates. feel so bad having to make him come and leave within an hour. sigh ... guilt guilt guilt. the boys wanted to watch the dark since some of us had watched majority of the movies and king kong just wasnt worth paying 9.50 so yeah.

the seating arrangement went like this. Darrell, Bryan, Me, Andria, Amanda, Lyndon, Ryan and lastly. the anti-scoial, Solomon. i believe i got the worst and best seat. as it was a horror movie, it's no point sticking a scared girl next to someone who is equally just as scared. apparently, Bryan and Darrell were 'brave' coz at points when they got scared, they covered their ears. haiz ... lame. Seated next to Bryan, he kept talking, making comments and trying to scare me nonstop which actually pissed off the others, including those in the theatre. but it kept me from freaking out coz i wont have to worry about the deadly silence ... hahaha.

the movie was really weird though. it was about this girl, Sarah, and her mom, Adelle(or something like that) who went to visit her dad, James. On the trip there, Adelle had a nightmare of Sarah pushing her off the cliff which had those monument stone - those that represented a tale or something. then later when sarah and adelle went to the beach, Sarah jumped into the sea which led to Ainwyn/Auinwyn which was the welsh belief of heaven which to me, looked like hell actually. the mother went kinda hysterical and followed a girl called Ebrill who died twice and came back after both incidents. and then .. well ... maybe i dont wanna continue coz it's a hard story to explain.

anyways, after the movie, solomon left which left the seven of us. ryan, lyndon, me, amanda and andria went down to some stall that sold noodles in an omelette (huh?) but I wasnt particularly keen. that's where we bumped into mevalia, cherlynn and one of their friends, i cant remember her name though. quite surprising and more reason to go join bryan and darrell at kfc. so we did while ryan and lyndon queued up and bought their noodles before joining us in kfc, quite funny since only 4 were really eating kfc. the guys really have big appetites. they went somewhere later to buy corn soup and they also ate Amanda's nuggets as she was too full to stomach them. hahaha. lucky we had a couple of 'garbage disposals' to finish it.

ryan and lyndon had a mission trip debrief after that so they left and it would be obvious that the other two guys wouldnt want to hang around with a couple of girls so they left too. so me, amanda and andria headed to town and went to the heeren where we wondered round and talked. then we headed to taka, bought bubble tea and walked and talked some more before heading to paragon(i think) to walk and talk so more. hahaha. finally, we decided to go home. Amanda by bus, me taking mrt and andria waiting for her dad to pick her up at cine. hehehe. lucky gal.

so now i'm stuck here, mourning over the having to cut my nails issue and actually glaring at the nail clipper as though it was its fault but honestly, it's pretty much innocent. hahaha.

one more day !!!

2005-10-12T20:09:00.000-07:00

ahahahaha ... YESH YESH YESH !! only one more day of exams before I'm FREE !! yeahh !!

okae ... technically, i should be moping coz my last paper is maths which i'm not good at ... ir at least i pull a mental block on this subject (just like chinese) ... hehe ...

then tomorrow after i'm soooooooooooooooooooooo HAPPY !!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!! yeahh yeahhh yeahh !!!

monsters under the bed.

2005-08-23T22:35:00.000-07:00

it's really weird. I mean dreams or nightmares can't hurt rightt ? So whyy did I wake up to the feeling of being smothered ? There was a pillow covering my face which even if i'm asleep, my subconscious wouldnt be THAT stupid and try to suffocate myself.

I hate these nightmares. It freaks me out and drains my energy and I cant barely wake up the next day. I end up stumbling from class to class and trying to keep my eyes open. I cant even do my regular 'rountine' of dancing in the lift lobby. Okae. Gawd, that is kinda dumb but it's REALLY fun when you're boredd.

I finally gotten around to using some of my birthday presents. I opened this CD, i think it's ACCESS: D - Delirious?. Yeahh. Really weired too. I guess I'm not used to listening to Christian music anymore.

Yeahh. It seems my once wanna be christian kind of attitude just faded away. Sometimes, I dont even feel like going to church anymore. I try not to think about it too often.

The music's really weird. Just draggy in a way. And I'd assume it was played LIVE. I don't really like it then. Weeeell, that's only my opinion. Judging from my other friends' reactions, they might kinda insy weensy like it. lols.

nonsensical ramblings.

2005-08-20T21:09:00.000-07:00

i was ALMOST looking forward to going to teens time today. the key word being - almost. Surprising huh ? I used to look forward to it and even sulked when I couldn't attend. Now it seems that not going is so much better.

It's not like it's totally intentional too. I meann I've got school stuff most of the time if not then it would be tuition and then I can't attend teens time. Okae. Maybe I've gotten used to spending saturdays at home in front of my beloved computer.

Funny isnt it ? When i didnt have many christian friends, I used to go to church lots. Then suddenly I find out some of my friends are christians and I stopped coming. I don't even act christian-like like Wei2 said. Whatever that means.

Maybe I'll TRY to go one day. But for now it seems too difficult. Bleahxx.

2/4 bday bash ?

2005-07-30T23:53:00.000-07:00

heh ... i overslept ... typical isn't it ? the day of my own bday 'party' and i oversleep ... thank goodness we were going to catch an afternoon show and that it had been booked yesterday night by yours truly ... :D

We went to watch the Island which was kinda useful as I needed to write a review of one of a recent movie ... Yay!!! It was soooooooooooooooooo awesome-matic ... lols ... i mean really ... I was half-expecting it to be lousy as Lester kept saying it would be a boring movie ... surprisingly he seemed to the one who was most interested in it ... Fascinating really ... I mean imagine in about fifty years down the road and everybody would have a clone so that they could harvest body parts if any of their organs should suddenly fail ... only that the clone would have to die which was kinda gruesome coz the clones' had their organs harvest while they were alive ... ewwwww ... really gross me out ... opening up the rib cage to take out a heart or lung ... bleahxx ...

we had a bit free time until mevalia came so we left chingyan and jimmy to spend time on their own while me, yehfri, sebastien, lester and cherlynn went to a nearby arcade to play ... really really stupid since it was so crowded and tt only Lester and Sebastien were playing ... haa ... me and cherlynn were probably trying to save money ...

Wow ... Mevalia went to straighten her hair and cut it ... (i think she straightened it) she looked really nice ... we left sebastien as he couldnt come for dinner ...

We all squashed in my mom's car, yehfri and lester in the waaaay back, chingyan, mevalia and cherlynn were in the middle row and i sat in front next to my mom ... i think my friends were a little intimidated ... i really dunno ...

We waited for half an hour before we were served dinner ... whyy ? Because the waiter insisted he needed to see our 'chaperone' before he could serve us ... Ha ha .. yeahh rite ... we never needed to do that before ... stupidd waiter ...

Lester and Yehfri ran off while we were waiting so the rest of us giggled saying they want -ahem- privacy in one of those rooms in the Raffles Town Club ... It didnt help they came back all hot and sweaty and saying that they should have done more or something liddat ... lols ... we giggled at their expense ..

we went bowling after that which was a real hoot since Cherlynn was wearing a skirt (actually so was Chingyan but she had to go home after dinner) and i was wondering how could she play without feeling embarassed or maybe she was and didnt say so ... lols ...

Lester and Yehfri were more interested in the arcade games which i admit there is one or two good games but not all ... Lols ... the end score was me being the highest, Mevalia second, Lester third and Cherlynn and Yehfri were fourth and fifth but i cant remember who had scored higher ... lols ...

it was really really really funn ... not to mention i think all of us more or less enjoyed ourselves and some of us want to do it again ... pity it would be a long time more before anyone of us can do it ... perhaps one day during the hols, i should organise a mini-bowling party ... LOLS ...

sleepless in singapore?

2005-07-28T22:02:00.000-07:00

i dunno what to say ... my tummy feels like it's got a billion butterflies, my head's pounding and my body's demanding for some badly-needed rest but i just CANT sleep.

why?

Coz of the swimathon tomorrow. Yeahh ... those mini-swimming competitions in school against other classes or houses. And i, stupidly, decided to participate in both. I havent gone for swimming in ages. How can i still remember how to swim properly ? Plus, I dont feel like getting laughed at if something stupid happens.

Had another of those practice maths lessons. I'm beginning to dislike it. I dislike having maths consecutively. Last period in school, afterschool and tuition. That's almost 4 hours of maths tuition to me. I can barely tolerate 2 hours, how can i take 4 ? Urgh!

Feeling kinda excited coz in two days i'm gonna go watch movie with my friends! wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ... yayayayayayay.... owwww ... my tummy's feeling really achey ... I hate competitions.

out with the gang !!

2005-04-17T21:00:00.000-07:00

yeahh... the title kinda states it all.

My brother didnt go to church today ... yepps ... he said coz he wanted to watch his favourite cartoon show which i introduced to him which was also my fave show ... and is stll one of my faves.

So I ended up going to church with my mom and Lisa. The songs that we sang today was soooooooooooooooooo nice. I lurvvvvved them so much.

We had lesson today but sadly coz Aunty Sandra couldnt make it back to Singapore so Uncle Victor took over her lesson which was cool with us coz i dont think anybody really cared. The lesson was actually very meaningful for me coz i've been thinking a lot on the stuff we discussed today. I even stayed back to ask Uncle Victor about something that had been troubling me which was somewhat involved with the topic which cleared up my confusion.

Stupidd marc. He ALWAYS has to make some stupid comment every lesson. Sometimes i can get really exsperated with him but like what yiwen says, no point getting so worked up over it so i'm gonna forget that that little incident happened.

After church there was prayer meeting or something so aunty ee meen and uncle kok chi were gonna stay behind, so my mom had to take all of us which was Lisa, Kathy, Jessica, Andria, Debbie and me. That's a handful and for my mom and aunty Sheila it was probably havoc and headache. =)

Had lunch at Sakae Sushi at Millenia Walk which is one of our 'hot spots' coz we like sitting near the middle of the place where the chefs always cooked. We were impressed by the way theyy cooked even though the fire was like 'burning' the pan. We would go 'oooooh, ahhhhh, ohhhhhhh,' -pause- then the grand finale of claapping. My mom said the poor chefs must be going ballistic cos we were irritating them.

As we proceeded with the meal, debbie was soooooooooooo curious with a type of spring roll or something so we asked a waitress. After some explaination, debbie and my mom decided to try it. Upon trying it, Debbie's face lit up and she commented, 'this kind of food should be served at weddings. Why, if they did, I'm gonna get married !!!'

We all looked at each other after some choking coz debbie isn't those kind of girl who wanted anything to do with a guy. Unless you were her cousin or family friend, she'll probably avoid a guy like he was the plague. So my mom and I said, 'Let's get any Tom, Dick or Harry off the street and hitched to Debbie.' Then my mom added that she had to inform uncle kok chi about this so he wouldnt have to worry about his oldest daughter never getting married and becoming a hermit.

Lols. Then debbie interuppted by saying at least she wasnt the one who wanted EIGHT children. Which was Jessica's dream. God bless her future husband's soul. Lols. We went to Candy Empire after that. I was super happy. Coz Candy Empire is my dream stall. A place that sell candies ... woots. Now that's somewhere I would have considered a child's heaven. Hmmmm ... actually i still consider it part of my ideal 'heaven' ... lols.

Then we went to debbie's house. Andria came too so then andria and my sister decided they ABSOLUTELY had to go to orchard to take neoprints and buy more skirts. But of course the parents didnt allow them coz they were too young to walk around orchard since they wanted to go to Far East, Taka, Cineleisure and Heeren.

In the end, debbie and I were enlisted to become bodyguards and take care of them. OKae. Maybe I can put it down as former jobs - Bodyguard/Bouncer. Cool. Then aunty Sofia wanted the two girls to invite Kathy along which they did and so we had another girl to protect. No probs, nothing too big we couldnt handle.

We were dropped off at the Heeren. And immediatly we were whisked off to take neoprints with Lisa and Andria. But of course, we had to stop along the way to look at stuff. which I didnt mind though ... i wanted something and I decided to take that opportunity then ... So I ended buying 5 of those kind of band thingys, one which i gave to Andria, the word 'princess' was engraved on it so yeahh ... i think she liked it ...

So finally after two hours of agrravation and walking around, it was time to head back. We took a mrt back to Bishan. Then we went to Junction 8 to buy our dinner from Mac's which was one of the best things that ever happened. Why ?

While I was trying to order our dinner, being the responsible one - when it comes to my own meal-, one of the MacDonald man stopped debbie and asked whether he had seen her at the Singapore Idol auditions or something. Then later after some joking and teasing, he informed us that Taufik was sitting near the back there. So everybody in our gang BUT me ran there and saw him. WOw. Lisa was happy coz she likes Taufik so she begged a Macdonald's person to get his autograph. Then when she came back, we asked her to ask again. Poor woman. I pity her. I was sooooooooooo stunned that I immediatly called Lydia and practically shrieked into the phone that I got Taufik's autograph at the Bishan MacDonald's. Lols.

Lee Hong, the MacDonald's guy who informed us about Taufik, was asked for his autograph by debbie. diaos~~~

It seems like Debbie has a fondness of guys working in restaurants. Lols.

bla bla bla

2005-03-31T21:42:00.000-08:00

we're ranting ... who you may ask ?

debbie and I, of course.

Now, you may say 'aaaaah..', what are we ranting about ? With her, it's about her friend, Christine. Apaarently, debbie sent an email to invite her to church but now she's freaking out about it. Me ? It's was about asking my friend. Christine and my friend are both Catholics. And we were hoping they wont take offence about people saying Catholics are a bunch of crazies and not real christians or whatever. -gulpps-

Right now, i'm feeling depressed coz i tink i'm seriously very weak. I get sick easily nowadays and this is the second time this week, i've gotten sent home. It's not gonna look good on a report ... since it's only the start of the term.

Brighter things is that I've been delving deeper into arts. I've decided drawing could help with my stress and sensitvity level. Coz i'm kinda lone it in school so it was a good distraction ... the only problem is i cant draw .. funnily enough, i can write stories and poems but when it comes to drawing, this is where i'm artisically challenged plus the fact that my peers are so much better than me ... so i think i'm gonna give it up for now.

Hmmmmmmm ... a buddy asked me how did christian life feel and to be honest, i couldnt answer him ... What was the difference ? I mean .. yeah ... you're part of a church now ... that kind of thing ... but now he said it, i felt like he was right about it ... but i juz dont know how ... it's sooo confusing ... heh ... thanks a lot, joey. Make the blur one more confused.

baptism

2005-03-27T23:15:00.000-08:00

hmmmm ... my friends kept bugging me to write about my baptism but i cant seem to find anything to describe it coz i guess i dunno how to ...

all i remember was being super freaked but now it seems a little weird why i was freaked out ... in fact i cant remember why i was freaked ... well ... ummmmm ... i dunno what to say now actually ... thankfully it wasnt a full immersion ... i dont appreciate my hair being wet coz it flops down on my face and my brother told me i looked like monster once ... right ... i rather not him saying it outloud and embarassing me ...

i felt extremely touched by the letters and emails i recieved from lots of people ... even some of my non-christian friends remembered i was getting baptised that day ... and even more unexpected that some people gave me presents ... now that was awkward coz i didnt expect that ...

my mom threw a japanese steamboat party for the whole gang to celebrate my baptism ... oh yeaahh ... that rocked coz apparently jessica bought a new series of 'Veggie Tales' which is soooooooo nice and it had new songs ... even one which was very 'boy-band' kind ... i tink i went ga-ga over it coz it was so nice and funnee ...

i think i enjoyed myself overall ... i hope that school wouldnt ruin my mood coz it has been a wonderful weekend ...

one week holidays

2005-03-23T03:06:00.000-08:00

as i have explained before ... i'm a procrastinator ... i will take my own sweet time to blog and even then ... after some time b4 i update too ...

the holiday was kinda boring ... went out with friends to watch movies and those normal stuff but i missed debbie, kathy and jessica a lot ... they had to go to Brisbane to visit their cousins matthew, 13, and amanda, 7 ...

it was so funny to hear of their tales especially those of jessica driving 'poor' matthew insane ... apparently, matthew is VERY capabl and talented in the parents' eyes ... hmmmmm .... when he comes down to singapore ... it could be a very BAD thing ... the fact that he is super tall doesnt help ... when i saw the pictures of him, i myself had to admit he looked more like 17/18 then 13 ... grrrrr ... he is like so tall ...

then we had a bbq on thursday for the sec 2 class 2005 of church of ascension ... to be honest, it was probably the best thing that happened the whole week ... but the bad thing was very few pl attended ... there were like 4 guys and 2 girls .... but still ... it was extremely enjoyable especially after when they all came up to my house ... we played a lot and made both jonathan's and shaun's moms wait until 11.30 (if i'm not wrong) whooops. ...

two days away from school

2005-03-09T21:17:00.000-08:00

yippee !!! didnt go to school on monday nor tuesday ... why ? gastric pains ... right ... i didnt know believe it myself ... neither does my mom ... but what can one do when they desperately need an m.c. ?

right now feeling downright miserable ... i have confirmed that i can no longer pay attention in lessons ... how should i phrase that to my parents ' mom, dad, i cant understand what the teacher's talking about' ... oh man ... they're gonna freak ... i dunno why but all parents seem to expect their kids to be one of those child prodigy ... i dunno why myself but i cant listen to the teacher or even if i did ... i seriously couldnt understand her ... even in english !!! my best and favourite subject of all times ... i just barely passed my english ca ... what would my dad do if he knew ?

he always expected the best from me ... being the oldest kid ... i just realized how i never took that responsibility nor have i understood it until now ... i wanna tell my parents but i dont wanna see a shrink neither do i want to get sent to those low standard school ... i mean no offense to other people but my mom would seriously be disappointed and i'll be letting my dad down ... a LOT ...

i've been talking to some friends lately and then i thought ... i think i should move to a different school ... i mean it's like i'm unhappy ... upset ... and i never fit in ... well ... i normally have a problem with mixing around with people ... particularly from the same gender and/or around my age ... not too mention a lot of bad memories ...

right moving on to more current events ...

had a really bad nightmare last night ... and i just couldnt seem to escape from it ... i read from somewhere that the mind is really complex and sometimes you just cant control it ... i think i half believe that ... if i'm not wrong from the moment that 'dream' started until my maid woke me up i was completely 'trapped' in that nightmare ... worse still i was thrashing around in bed ... that's how my maid noticed ... i think she assumed bcoz i was caught in a tangle of blankets and still half asleep, hence i kept moving around trying to escape from my entanglement ...

sigh ... my close friend(i wont reveal his identity) advised my to pray about it but i still nervous about sleeping ... hence the coffee i've been drinking ... but it's only given me trouble ... i have never ending urge to use the toilet and i keep moving about ... too much caffeine ... ugh ...

wells ... i'm hopefully gonna try my luck ... i'm even wearing my lucky shorts and shirt to sleep so that it would have a teeny weeny chance of not coming and i can have a decent rest ... but i still am apprehensive. .. i dont dare to tell anyone except for my close friend what exactly happened in the nightmare ... funnily enough when i woke up ... i had scratches on my leg where i got injured in that nightmare .... hmmm ... i'm just hoping that somehow i was just dreaming about those scratches but ... sigh ... unfortunately the scars are still there but they seemed to be healed already ... it wasnt as long or as red as this morning ...

right ... i'm just freaking myself out even more now ... great ... someday ... i'm gonna find out this is just a figment of my imagination and those scratches were caused by a cat.kitten my parents bought and never informed me about ... hah ... now i read the last line and it's just a pathetic excuse to cover up what i could never explain ... okaez ... feeling VERY moody and depressed ... gonna stop here and try to sleep soon ...

Dying in pain

2005-02-26T20:11:00.000-08:00

well ... yeah ... the title kinda describes it ...

today for some apparent reason .. me cannot recall why ... we had teens time @ east coast ... whooo hoooo !!! okae ... this appeals to me ... why ? i LIVE in the east coast area ... for once i dont hafta travel so far to attend teens time ...

i was kinda nervous at first coz i just cut my hair and i tink it's plain weird ... why again ? coz it makes me look feminine ... although for a person with a large vocabulary ... i have problems with this particular word ... feminine ... exactly ... it just doesnt feel right but what can i do ? i wanted it and now i'm stuck with it ... but it's bearable ...

eveleen and lydia assured me i looked nice but of course a village idiot, aptly named GAY, had to tell me i looked horrible ... right ... moving on ...

we played some kind of softball game ... i couldn't hit the ball ... i'm kinda used to catching/throwing/hitting stuff but at chest-level ... but the ball was lobed towards the person holding the bat ... lobing sucks coz it's probably hit the ground before you get a chance to take a whack at it ... well .. at least it's one person's opinion ...

then later plae cpatain's ball ... then volleyball then captain's ball again ... and now my arms hurt so i'm typing this veeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyy slowly .... AGONIZINGLY slowly ... hahahz ...

then rollerblading with jasmine ... okae ... i havent rollerbladed for over 2 years since i couldnt don my old , too-small rollerblades and gave up asking for a new pair ... the rollerblades were tight and uncomfortable and i have red marks all over my ankles to prove so ...

then later went 'running' with jasmine and grace ... i am convinced never to run with them ... they sprint so fast ... i gave up ultimately and walked back ... hahahaz ... then relaxed awhile before playing volleyball again then we hadda pack and leave which conveniently my mom juz came so we quickly went home and had a nice refreshing shower .... wheeeeeee ....

One week

2005-02-18T19:59:00.000-08:00

okae ... i didnt write about saturday nor monday or whateverz ... i went to my cousin's house on wednesday when my parents went away on a cruise ... so yeah ... hadda stay at their house as it was probably closer to school than my house ... so yupXx ... packed my bag and went to stay there ....

it was quite okae overall ... i managed to secure my second blog there but i've forgotten both the user and password ... hmmmmmmm ... i'll come back to that once i finally remember ... overall it was quite good ...

kinda happy coz i'm gonna get a new phone ... again ... for the second time this year ... replacing my current phone coz it's gone bonkers and doesnt work properly ... ooooooh ... yippee ... my takeaway food's here !!! gonna eat now... wheeeeeee ...

friday - meeting brent and cara - the NEIGHBOURS

2005-02-11T11:51:00.000-08:00

right ... -looks grumpy yet uneasy-

friday night ... change of plans ... no homecell but instead we had a chinese new year dinner ... of course ... the original gang minus andria now ... was there ... and so were debbie's neighbours, Brent and Cara - sec 3 and p6...

at first debbie was insisting we be friendly and get the duo to join us to watch her retarded chinese/cantonese serial which i have taken a liking to watch if i bother ...

then there was the dinner ... of course ... still silence from the neighbours ... i dont blame them .... you go for a dinner with ur neighbour and your nieghbours group of friends who have only girls around your age (unfortunately the two boys in the gang cant really be counted as boys ... even then the age gap made some difficulty ...)

but of course ... thanks to yours truly, and a short while of playing card games did the two niehgbours start warming up ...

by then we left for the playground like every week ... this is part of the norm schedule ... brent and cara ran ahead of the rest of us ... just to get the swings ... hahahz ... imagine a sec 3 boy who still wants to be first in line for the swing ... not that there is anything wrong with it of course ...

then we walked off to those small exercise areas thing-y ... then rachel being the oldest and the biggest pig ... she plopped herself down on the whole bench(the black bench) and me , debbie and brent ended up walking over to the tennis courts when jon-jon appeared and informed us that one of the boys was a maris stella boy ... and of course being the retarded ppl me & debbie were ... we or more like i started a conversation with them as they played and we watched from the outside ...

then we walked off and yeah ... wandered and ambled around the playground ... then we made a hell lot of noise before we ran off to the poolside where some people were having a barbecue party ... and we crashed it !!!

we literally jumped into the patio and ran off not before i hadda comment that there was a lot of beer going round .... then we played by the pool ... we waded IN the pool and the jacuzzi as well ... thankfully none of us fell or got too wet ... -phew- ... afterall we decided to go back and then they had dessert ..

the adults then decided it was the right time to bring out the cakes for debbie, uncle kok chi and my uncle graham ... of course debbie was NOT happy ... she had decided this year of all years to start with ... that she did NOT like cakes ... rolls eyes ...

after the cake we decided to go back to debbie's room to listen to music and play card games again ... then we decided play heart attack but with a slight twist ... we added that everytime someone got whacked .. they become one more month pregnant after the first time which you get married ... the marriage part was simple ... coz almost all of us (or should i say them - i was not included in this group) were from schools which had brother-sister schools ... so they would end up 'marrying' the founder or the name of the school (e.g. st. MARGERET's, st. ANDREWs, maris STELLA) ... lol ... it was great fun ...

in the end juz before we left .. this was how we tallied with each other ...

Cara(spelling?)- married to some ACS guy - cant remember his name, no kids
Jonathan - Stella, 3 months pregnant -the wife not him-
Lisa - married to Andrew, not pregnant
Kathy - married to Andrew (diff andrew, we would not want either to be a mistress,would we?), 4 months pregnant
Raina - married to some idiot off the road (LOL), given birth to quadruplets ...
Debbie - married to Marc, 3 months pregnant
Me- married to Edward/Edmund (apparently, i still have no fixed husband -hahaz), 3 months pregnant
Brent - Married to Sophia, 3 months pregnant

the game was totally funny and ... man ... one of the best times ever ... this was one time i never regretted or had no desire to NOT make friends ... i felt so blessed that day ...

oh yeah ... give a standing ovation to Brent for his wonderful - but long & boring- playing of the piano ... man ... is he one talented dude ... pity the rest of the gang who still learning how to play piano .... wahahhaz ... good luck to you guys ...

money-less

2005-02-06T21:18:00.000-08:00

okaez ... i was suppose to meet Lydia @ the mrt station as well as her fren, kip ho(?), the mad scientist guy. hahahz ... in the end, it was me, Lorraina and kip ho. shortly we were joined by .. um ... dunno their names but i know the little boy's name is shaun ... (i tink?) well ... yeah ... pardon my ignoramus to remember people's names ... then later we were join by ... uh ... okae ... more nameless people ... hahahz ... i feel like i'm an outsider now ... hahz ... but it's okae ... didnt matter to me ...

kinda weird the games we played ... all the team building games ... which was kinda bad coz for me ... i dont like crowds .. makes me feel nauseous and tightness in breathing ... i dont like crowds i repeat that ... and i cant stand like holding people's hands or depending on a person ... i trust very few people and only 2 of them were in my group ... great ... no wonder i was tense and stiff ...

the games were okae ... we played volleyball but like again ... we had to use a makeshift court ... hahahz ... we used the hose as our 'net' ... it was sooooooo fun ... then alyssa's dad later taught me how to play better which is kinda useful so i dont have to struggle about it much ... wheeeeee ...

okae ... nearly didnt wake up in time for church and had to force my mom to send me to church as i didnt wanna go to my cuz's house to make pineapple tarts ... i'm not the suzy home maker or even freaking betty crocker kind of person ... and the fact that i WANTED to go to church helped to .... hahahz ....

then after church i called andria ... man ... i was soooooooooooo happy ... i mean ... i miss her so much ... afterall ... she was like my little sister ... the one i wouldnt mind, not the one i was ready to give up for adoption(*hint* my biological sister) ... wahahahz ...

went to eat lunch with my 'cell' ... okae ... i didnt know i had a cell .. coz i kinda hoped you get kicked out if i didnt attend for last year ... apparently that doesnt happen ... great ... i prefer the adults cell coz ... well ... i know majority of the homecell ... i, or more like they, practically grew up with me/them ...

then went to watch a movie 'racing stripes' ... okae ... it was fairly okae ... the part i DIDNT like was that i had to pay for THREE people ... i was only suppose to pay for mine and debbie's coz i couldnt find a decent bday present (or maybe i did but i couldnt find it coz i dunno which shop is it from ... hahaz ...) so now i'm broke until ... well ... juz flat-out broke ... so now i'm depending that i dont feel like taking cab home for the next 2 weeks ... sigh ...

had a pretty good time ... then after the movie, me & debbie went to bishan station and she started struggling to remember whether to take bus 410 white or green (um ... dont ask what's with the colours, i have no idea too) then she decided we should take the green ... then after the white 410 left, she decided it might have been the white 410 ... i was ready to strangle her ... grrrrrrrr ... then i stole her new blue jeans cap ... and she took out a dark blue cap from the depths of her bag ... like huh ? who carrys 2 extra caps in their bag ? only debbie i guess ...

then we had dinner at her house even though we were already very full ... -shakes head- we both are convinced that now we cant enjoy too much chinese new year goodies coz we ate too much during the past few days ... of course that's very bad ... espceially for her ... hahahz ...

apologies

2005-02-04T17:52:00.000-08:00

okae okae ... so I didnt stick to my 'promise' to blog regularly ... not like i can help it ... i'm not one to remember my passwords or even having a blog ...

right ... so i guess i had a good friday .... went out with Lydia and Lorraine after school (my parents do not know of this- ha haz) we went out for lunch then after that went to bugis and quickly took neoprints ... then i hadda rush home ... sigh ... i hate the fact that i cant stay out ... my parents think i'm too young ... or -this is obviously not my suggestion but rather from an outsider's view of this- that they scared of taking risks coz i'm the oldest child ... humph ... well ... not my fault ... i wanted to have two older brothers NOT two younger siblings ... sigh ... well ... no choice now ... sigh ... now it's my turn for chinese tuition ... hope i dont fall asleep ... it's so BLAHS ... cant pay attention ...

a great time !!

2005-01-22T23:56:00.000-08:00

man ... okae ... for the past few weeks i've been kinda unhappy to go for church stuff and wasnt too keen again this week but coz my sister and andria begged me to go so i agreed ...

to my surprise ... i was actually welcomed today ... i mean normally i've always found it easy to slip into the place without being noticed but suddenly it's like someone noticed me ...

then halfway through the 'sermon-thingy' , andria started tearing and me, lisa and andria ran off to the toilet ... to my shock andria came to me and started sobbing on my shoulder ... okae ... if i were a guy, i would be secretly pleased but here, i was upset too ...

i didnt want andria to go overseas to study ... but of course i said this gently as she was upset that she'll never attend teens time or church or even a homecell meeting until she came back ... even then none of us could tell her how long she would have to study overseas ... commuting wasnt juz good enough ...

then later during games, i abandoned the game of captain's ball as it had too many players and i needed to get out of the hot sun and big crowd ... i cant stand crowds, period.

then played badminton, i have to admit after seeing shaun and the guys play, i think i wouldnt wanna challenge them ... hahahaz ... lest i get beaten ....

then we played a silly game of both captain's ball & basketball which was hilarious as majority of the time we ran with the ball or threw it from halfway across the small amount of space we played on ... (the basketball court was being used to play basketball, but we got 'blown off' ,according to someone, when our small group wanted to play with them.)

later suan hong and some guy joined us girls in the game ... i have to admit suan hong played for our team but the whole team could juz relax while he juz did all the scoring ... i was telling my dear dear how excellent their skills were ... and we totally agreed ... hahahaz ... me & my dear dear were acting totally silly... we did hugs and acted out dramatic scenes while the game was going on .... hahahaz ... we were acting so lovingly but fortunately nobody payed much attention to us ... i would have found it super embarassing ....

hahhahaha ... i had such a great time and to top it of, my mom bought kfc for dinner ... not like it's a big deal but she doesnt approve me eating those kind of foods as she thinks i'm in desperate need of losing weight ... a LOT of kilos ... that's her plan ... but i'll survive ... i still got the chocolates in the fridge ... wahahahaz ....

one weekend squashed

2005-01-16T23:50:00.000-08:00

right ... the party was kinda flop and kinda good .... ahaha ... we were actually planning to get kathy to dance with us as she already knew PART of the dance as she claimed to ... but in truth she knew it better than me .... humph ...

in the end, we dragged debbie (who was kicking and screaming) to join the dance as i needed a partner of similiar height and debbie was our best bet ... and there was no way i was gonna dance with kevin or jessica ... can you juz imagine the chaos ? -imagining havoc-

yeah ... we practiced and i had to arrange positions ... namely myself and debbie in the back, in agreement so that she wont be seen so easily ... wahahahas ... thanks debbo ...

later at rachel's party, i found out to my horror and to the others' shock, we were to perform not only for rachel, her surprise party frenz, the gang and rachel's aunt and her cousin, kevin [not my brother, their cousin](who in the end didnt come, thank goodness)

we also ended up performing more than one song that night ... and we had jonathan, raina , kevin and jessica and kathy joining us and having me rearrange the positions and then there was trouble coz the two girls ,lisa & andria, decided that jonathan was disgusting and they shouldnt be even partnered with him *snorts* big deal ... andria and lisa become his partners coz of my arrangement .... muahahaha -evil grin-

it's was quite good afterall ... only some PEOPLE were teasing me about *koff koff* and that wasn't neccessary coz i dont see anything funny or interesting ... story of my life ... i get teased by the gang a lot ever since last year ... *sigh* ....

the saturday was boring ... nothing to describe since i decided to skip teens time and went for maths tuition ... okae ... to me, it used to be teens time rather than maths ... but now ... i rather have maths ... dont ask why ... i have yet to find out myself ... ahahaha ...

sunday was kinda fun ... watched the three musketeers again ... man, i love that show ... coz we were desperately bored @ deb's house and we watched until i had a laughing fit and couldnt stop ... ow ... now i remember how my tummy felt that homecell night ...

then later in the afternoon, the gang came over to my house ... as it was rachel's real birthday and they wanted to surprise her ... as if ... that piggy wouldnt realise it coz we all called her up early and shouted 'happy birthday piggy !!' or at least i did and my copycat sister copied that ... hrrrmph ...

then again ... after dinner and when piggy joined us @ the playground ... i got teased about HIM again ... argh ... how many times did i have to tell them ? id ont like him that way ... all we are is FRIENDS !!!

-shakes head- but it's a hopeless case to convince them so not like i bothered to explain after the first 5 minutes ... yeah ... they left pretty early as it was a school day tomorrow ... yeah ...

finally

2005-01-13T20:49:00.000-08:00

okae ... i'm finally gonna blog again after like sooooo long ... hahaha ... okae ... basically i've just been surviving school with a pretty rocky start ... being the new 'Laura' i become last year is kinda difficult especially with all those unhappy memories and all those 'enemies' (okae, i kinda resolve not to have any enemies, @ least for the first 2 months) ...

my mom finally developed the photos and yeah ... REALLY embarassing photos they are ... well ... at least 3 of them are ... i think andria and my sis would know which ones are those ... hahaha ... those of kransak and the other one ... lol ...

rachie's bday's tomorrow and we're all rushing to prepare everything ... me & debs are in charge of planning of the 'party' (that's a big joke) ... while i have to think of something to present which is a dance ...
which only I know how to do ... aahh !! -panicks- i'm so dead ... coz we have no time to even practise ... except for the last 5 minutes before we preform ... wahahaha ... what a horrible situation ...

now andria, my sis and I are trying to plan who's house to practise and whether we have the time to do it ... while debbie's panicking at home about the games and we have forgotten ... the decorations ... i'm not surprised if it turns out horribly ...

but anyways, juz have to hope for the best ... well ... if we can even hope for ... hahaha ...

wednesday

2004-11-17T22:00:00.000-08:00

~*wednesday*~

yeah yeah ... i finally blogged again ... damn you george !!! deriving me of my precious and much needed sleep !!! argh !! ... went bowling with stef , deborah (stef's sis) and georgina ... hahaa .. the mad woman and monkey herself ... and the gutter queen ... heehee ... to be honest ... i miss hanging out with the gals ... ever since i got posted to outram ... which is so far and so inconvenient coz we could never meet ...

we went bowling and my goodness ... i've never played a game ever so badly ... keep missing the centre ... off-centre would be more my type of way ... keep throwing the ball so hard then once it bounced half the way of the lane ... hahaa ... i know that's really stupid but ... well ... it's the typical kind if stupid things our gang used to do ... wonderful !!

after that went home then went out again to go to church ... no .. i didnt have practice or had an meeting or whatever ... went to watch the boys play soccer ... not too thrilled coz it was drizzling ... and that the fact i miss playing football with kimmy , nick and bri ... sigh ... i hope they miss me too ... heehee ...

yeah ... feeling upset coz of minor reason but i guess i'll get over it over the next few days .... or @ least i'll try not to ... i did promise myself i wouldnt cry .... yepXx ... andy's coming back tomorrow ... cant wait ...

SICK !!!!

2004-11-12T22:34:00.000-08:00

~* thursday *~

okaezz ... i'm finally blogging coz i recieved a lotta complaints from my pal on not updating the blog ... i cant help it ... i prefer my computer games as it doesnt hang on me like my blog does ...

yeahzz ... yesterday gloria , demi , yiqiang and vincent came over to my house to play squash ... heehee ... the fact that i got yiqiang to wake up early to come and so did gloria and vincent as they didnt believe he would wake up in time ... hahaha ...

when we finally got there ... the first thing yiqiang pounced on was the potato chips we girls brought down ... sigh ... typical of that pig ...

haahaha ... we played for some time b4 we went up to eat PIZZA !!! hahaha ... and poor yiqiang .. he claimed pizza was his fave food but he was sleeping throughout the meal ... poor guy ...

then afterwards we continued playing but we stopped about after 3.15 coz demi wanted to go play cs with the guys who were going there or already there (i wouldnt know) ... yeah ... but before that yiqiang was juz sleeping and we decided to play a little trick on him ... using demi's water bottle ... those that squirt out vapour at the slightest touch kind ... then demi stood directly above yiqiang at the railing and she squirted down ... wahahaha .... she did that a few times while gloria and vincent was playing and i was just sitting down there laughing my head off ... wahaha .. it was hilarious ... yiqiang did open his mouth to 'drink' the water but to my shock and horror he git up and spat at me !!! ... welll at least at my leg ... eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwww .... then we decided to play so we could dry off and later when we left demi was teasing vincent about the 'heaven water' ... hahaha ... coz she wanted to squirt him too ...

then later after we changed and all ... we headed off , yiqiang and gloria on their way home , me , vincent and demi on the way to play cs ... yeah ... okae .. once agin the computer refuses to work and i hadda switch computers like the last round ... only this time i had to switch once ... okae .. the point with me and this game is i only know how to panic ... and yeah ... typically dunno where to go except stay still and hope the others on my team can kill the enemies before they can get near where ever i was hiding ... okae ... i sound really 'wimp-ish' here ... but i just cant help it ... i cant even aim straight ... hahaz ... yupXx ... and to tink i enjoyed playing this games with my cousin ...

kaezz ... now thursday was okae .... except that when it was time to start practice i fell sick ... okae maybe i was sick since like monday ? not like anyone would notice ... as per normal ...

yeah and thankfully i went home alright ... my temperature was 39.8 !! my highest temperature ever !! then it went down to 39.6 ... then finally by the next day it was down to 37.7 not bad coz i normally have a slight fever liddat which i know will go away in less than 5 hours ....

ugh ... okae ... i updated liao ... so i dun wanna hear compaints from any of u people ... u know who u are aniwaes ...

i'm back !!!

2004-11-06T21:38:00.000-08:00

~* saturday *~

-- bad mood --

sometimes i juz wonder whether parents are totally dumb or something ... i mean my mom signed me up for the entrance exam and promptly never read the letter of accpetance and it was stated i was to report to the school at eight am

of course .. we hadda arrive at 8.30 and i was like so blur as i've never taken an entrance exam and the fact i didnt know anybody and every other person @ the entrance exam did ... haiZz ...

i'm pretty sure i have little to no chance to becoming a KC girl ... ( whoohoo ! ) heehee .. i know i'm being mean but i can't help it ... i doubt i'll be able to fit into KC (katong convent) ...

since i was sitting in the back of the hall , i read the KC school motto - simple in virtue, steadfast in duty. huh ?? i dunt really get it ... weird weird weird ...

then later rush for volleyball match ... nothing to report about it ... juz that when i rushed for the medical training or whateva thing, i left my kneeguards on ... but it was hanging around my ankles which was so comfy that was the reason why i forgot about it ... haha

teens time was like totally boring ... played with yiwen and her hillgrove frenz who came for teens time as well ... heehee ... then me , short short (raymond) and pamela went back to play table tennis but ended up playing those kind of football thing-a-ma-jigs ... justin (yiwen's cuz) and raymond were one team while me and pamela, another ... then we played table tennis which i totally sucked @ ... hahaha ... i always hit veri hard and cause the ball to go ricoheting everywhere ... heeheeheee ...

yeah .... i guess it was an okae day ... but still kinda boring and uneventful ...

133 days ...

2004-10-25T06:34:00.000-07:00

~* monday *~
[133 days]

alrite .. i feeling kinda blue coz it's been 133 days since .. well ... it kinda happened ... yeahhx ... bleargh ... hate it when i actually remember it but i made a promise to myself that i should try to keep it until at least the end of this year ...

kkXx ... i kinda read through during school hours coz there was nothing to do ... haiZz ... so boring ... i'm seriously considering my options on skipping volleyball to go and watch a movie with demi ...

so after school i was all prepared to leave school when someone claimed to have thier handfone stolen ... haiZz ... then the teacher asked zhang chong to look through the boys bags while he said he trusted me to look through all the girls bags ... so i did a quick but thorugh serach through all the girls bags ... (now was the time i'm thankful there were very little girls in the class, haha)

then rushed all the way to meet demi ... it started raining when we wanted to find our way to lido (is it ?) so demi made me call daniel lum and ask for directions ... even then it was kinda unhelpful coz demi couldnt really understand him ... much ... but we managed to find our way aniwaes ... lolXx ...

we watched the movies 'the grudge' ... man, it was so scary i started sobbing (no tears) halfway coz i was scared and needed some support which thankfully me and demi sought out from each other ... hahaXx ... then we got so scared @ one part that we panicked and promptly caused the bucket of popcorn to fall and we waste a lot of popcorn ... lolXx ...

now i realised i was being silly and the movie wasnt that scary ... hahaha ... talk about creative yet gullible minds ... but still i was advised by some frenz to pray about it before i sleep ... so i tink i might have to take their advice seriously coz they're a few dedicated christians i knew before i started attending church ... yeahhs ...

then we went to paradiz centre and lo and behold there was jeff and some outram boys ... and being the stupid me, i panicked ... coz i was afraid they might get the wrong idea of me being there ... i mean i'm more the goody goody bookworm kind of person in class ...

but then i went over to greet them anihows ... and boy, was he surprised ... played some computer games ... challenged the outram boys versus some of the coa boys plus me + demi ... yet we still got beaten by jeff and co. ... why ?

coz they practically spend their time playing these games afterschool ...

it's little wonder why they managed to beat us ... but then again ... the others didnt do too bad ... unlike me who seemed to be the first person to always lose ... gahxx ...

yeah ... then went to mos burger to eat dinner with demi then went back ... was a little nervous coz i still was kinda apprehensive of the movie ... and kinda freaked out by the ghostly face and all ... yeahhs ...

5 days

2004-10-13T18:42:00.000-07:00

yeah yeah i know i blew off blogging for the last 5 days ... i cant help it !! i'm not one who's very good at keeping a 'diary' ... yepXx ... i mean look at the accumulated amount of unfinished diaries i have ... lolXx ... it's a big pile which i kinda gave a way last time i cleaned out my cupboard ... which was like 4 months ago ...

yeah ... well ... didnt do much on saturday and sunday .... so i can kinda skip those ... gave yiwen the stupid present i bought for her ... okay ... even she would agree with me it was a stupid present ...

monday ... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH !! history ... okae okae ... maybe it wasnt as bad but becoz i didnt study for any of my exams so i'm kinda panicky ... and the fact i stayed up to start on my art exma which was due on monday as well .... gak gak gak ... i hate art ... absolutely hate art ... well ... kinda aniwaes ....

tuesday so darn scary ... literature !!! and worse still i picked the worser of the two questions to do ... AAAAAAAAHHH !!! i wrote so little ... i feel so regretful ... i should have written more than the measly three pieces ... it might have been three pieces but at least my handwriting's small in an untidy sort of way ... -grinZz- i've gotten complaints about it loads of times ... so proud of myself ...

today was my maths and science papers ... super stressed coz these two are my second and third worse subjects (obviously chinese is the top worst subject) ... i felt super stressed that i couldnt concentrate on the first paper of maths ... during the second paper i developed a fever and my breathing came out in short breaths ... i was super afraid i would start hyperventilating ... but thankfully i didnt ... later during science i had a splitting headache and tried to finish the paper as fast as i could ... i kept breaking out in cold sweat as i struggled to write down decent answers ... i tried to sleep but it was kinda no use coz i had breathing difficulties which kept me awake ... *sighXx*

tomorrow's home econ and CME ... i dun feel like studying coz i feel really burnt out from studying ....

happy birthday kenneth & joey

2004-10-08T21:33:00.000-07:00

~* thursday & friday *~
[ happy birthday kenneth ~ 7th October ]
[ happy birthday joey ~ 8th October ] (outram de joey)

yepss ... it is known that u shouldnt say anything if u have nothing nice to say so i'll skip about comments ...

yeah ... school kinda boring ... nothing much to do lor ... didnt recieve back english paper ... =( ... i know its weird coz most ppl would rather wait as long as possible to recieve back their english papers but for me , it's the total opposite ... i want to see how okay i've done and whether i made any improvements or downgraded my standard ..... yeah ... veri stressing to wait ... i've never been good at waiting long ... veri de impatient at times ... lolXx ...

yeppss ... still cant find a present for yiwen's birthday !!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh !!! stress stress stress .... everything is getting me stressed ... even the little fact that i'm not getting any taller is stressful ... yeah ... lolXx ....

~* friday *~

yeah ... didnt do much again today ... kinda slacked coz no pe and also nothing to do during chinese ... juz sat there staring into space trying to think of a story to write .... yupXx ...

then later took taxi home cos i was feeling pissed off at a certain SOMEBODY ... i mean come on !! i never do anything to annoy you muz still make me irritated ... u know one of these days i'm gonna hit her and wont regret it ... in fact i'm so anxxios for that day to come ... coz i dun dare fight in school so that school report wont have deliquent on my report if i got chance to transfer school ...

fought with my brother today ... after what seems like an eternity ... i actually fought using my hands ... i feel so bad ... i mean i use my fists against people i really hate but this really is super wrong ... he's just my little brother and i hit him ... worse still i used a lot of strength coz i heard a sickening thud when i hit him ... guilt guilt guilt .... oooooooooooooooooooooh man ....

played badminton with my sister after her tuition ... no more chinese tuition !!! yippeee !!! even though this no tuition thing is short-lived ... *sighXx*

spent some of my timemaking notes for science and now trying to do maths tuition homework ... but all attempts arent working ... simply too out of it to do any more work ... haiZz ... feeling so useless ... tired ... annoyed and sleepy ...

wednesday

2004-10-06T22:00:00.000-07:00

~* wednesday *~

yep yep ... typical me to forget to bring newspaper to read and i hadda borrow from someone else ... my memory's slipping ...

maths was kinda boring but i chatted with leong ping and decided not to do the work coz i was really tired ... i kinda slept the lesson through ...

during english, mrs zou made us present our 'RIFA' projects ... argh ... i couldnt make a summary out of the World War II coz i had information from the history book , internet and general knowledge ... sometimes ... it's super annoying when u remember what u like but can't remember everything u must ... i was commented to be the loudest in my group which made me kinda happy coz at least mrs zou would have one thing less to complain about my oral ... hahaXx ...

slacked through music ... half asleep and half awake ... coz i keep daydreaming while watching the show '1900' it's really really interesting but yet it's sprinkled with swear words here and there ... so i doubt i can actually go and buy the cd ...

i was like half asleep during science ... i would doze off for a minute or so then wake up then in less than thirty seconds i would fall asleep again ... *yawnXx* i wish science wasn't so boring ...

was kinda fooling around during history although it is probably my second favourite subject in school ... was playing with leong ping's handphone when teacher called me ... i jumped and kinda tossed the handphone onto leong ping's lap so the handphone would not be confiscated ... then later teacher asked whether leong ping was listening to music (which she was) and i lied ... i told her that it was just leong ping's earring ... lolXx ... it was so dumb coz why would a earring be big and black and have a chain that seems to be attached to under leong ping's desk ... loLXx ...

i found out that our first volleyball match would be on 2nd November !!! EEeeeeEEpss !!! i'm hoping it doesnt clash with anything coz i would be having a bit of difficulty making place in my schedule ...

kinda excited yet nervous coz the exams are coming up .... history on monday !!! whOOhOO !!! then next day would be literature (another round of whooping) then the next would be maths and science ... stress ler .. two of my WORST subject on the same day ... then the next day would be CME and home econ ... shoot ... i dun really know how to study for CME ... i mean ... i never listen to mdm chan more than 50% of the time ... and the fifty percent is the first half of the lesson when she scolds/reprimands/teaches us about manners or some subject ... bleaghs ... i cant wait till next week coz we'll be missing CME to take exams ... one thing good about having exams on thursdays ... hyukXx ...

about those people's birthdays who so coinincidentally fall this week or next week ... i'm so sorry ... i've been trying to look for birthday presents but i simply can't find anything good ... especially for you, yiwen ... feel so disappointed ... i'll try tomorrow if i can ... geeZzz ... poor guys ... having their exams near their birthdays ... i've had the same thing happen to me this year and it totally crashed my party ... yeah ... saddXx ... well~ ... happy birthday, Amanda !!! i haven't forgotten you ... juz hope u havent forgotten me ...

tuesday

2004-10-05T20:55:00.000-07:00

~* tuesday *~

school's the norm ... basically horrid ... but today is one of the three days i love ... coz there's home econ ... i always thought i would hate home econ since i was bad @ cooking ... baking ... frying ... in short ... i was a hazard in the kitchen ... but instead i learnt to love it ... fairly nice ... we baked cupcakes !!! okay ... for those people who dun really know me well .. i lurrrrrve cupcakes ... always had a fixation with it ... especially chocolate cupcakes !!! heeheeZz ...

kaeZz ... then later during pc period ... peixuan came up to me and told that how she, nabeelah and parames never hang out with me coz they're not used to me hanging out with them since i was friends with vanessa ... uh~huh ... they didnt have a problem with me ... she did ... i know ... i asked the latter two and they disagreed with what she said ... that proves how much a liar she is which makes me super angry and frustrated and so amused by her childish , immaturish ways ...

go mrs zou !!! hahaha ... i know mrs zou doesnt like peixuan either ... she sorta gave me an idea of what she thought of peixuan ... poor nabeelah ... she got called by mrs zou coz i betcha she knew that peixuan was saying bad things about mrs zou, herself, and that poor nabeelah would have to endure it ...

then later went home and ate a bit of my cupcake ... yummy ... i swooned at the taste of it ... lolXx ... then later my brother also loved it and now we currently competing for the last cupcake ... hahaXx .. but it's MINE !!! wahahaha ... victory ....

slept for three hours then studied a little while and now just checking mail and talking with friends ... can't wait until saturday or friday when i have time to bake something again ... yumyum ... ^^

note

2004-10-04T20:21:00.000-07:00

*~ note *~

okay ... this is my second time writing about this ... so i'm making it kinda brief and not naming names that much liaoXx ....

didnt go to school on wednesday coz i kinda had allergies again ... but now it so much better ... thank goodness ... it was milder than the outbreak in primary school ... hahaXx ... kept itching in my seat all the time and squirmed until the teacher got frustrated ... wahahahas ... the good ol' times ...

thursday ... two words : MENTAL BREAKDOWN ... yeah ... broke down in school ... nobody witnessed it at least ... yep ... kinda cooled down later but still ... i cant help wishing i never came to outram ...

friday ... another two words ... : english exam ... diao~ ... so embarassing ... i definitely made a load of mistakes during the papers ...wanna take it back and re-do ... but i cant ... saddd ... played with 'my' sims family ... so fun ... but now i cant coz my sims 2 got confiscated ... i cant play until exams are over ...

saturday ... i totally bombed my chinese paper ... i know it and it is true ... apparently i failed paper 2 .. i got back the results today ... *sobXx*

had fun during teens time ... played football after a very long time not playing not since i attended the football practices on sunday with the twins ... yeah ... kinda had fun ... cant wait until can finally attend teens time ... then i will have company ... =)

sunday ... yeah ... my brother chased after daniel wong ... AGAIN ... wat is so nice about him to chase ? with all the running ... i tink my brother can join track and field when he's older ... lolXx ...

monday ... nothing much ... juz wanna thank God that he let me know that other people are in the same situation and that i'm not alone ... yeah ... got 18/20 for history ... should do better next round ... veri disappointed in myself ...

well ... good luck to andria , demi , amanda ongko and all my p-sixer pals ... tomorrow's a big day ... so will be the rest of this week ... do well guyZz ... and andria ... do well so that after the exams we can go par-tay~ and shop and take neoprints like we wanted to ... after my exams also that is ... heheZz ...

tuesday

2004-09-28T15:29:00.000-07:00

~* tuesday *~

yeah yeah ... it's been one week since i blogged or even signed in on this computer or anywhere else !!! i'm so darn happy that i got to use the computer ... estatic ...

nothing much really happened ... on friday i followed my cuz to his friend's , Jon/John's, home ... they wanted to play table tennis and i was bored so i kinda tagged along ... in the end we went to his house where he told us that at first his dad said no girls were allowed and i was like OO coz i've never heard anything more ridiculous than that ... and later he called his mom and his mom allowed but she juz did not permit us to stay over ... not that i wanted to anyways ...

when we were playing i keep whacking the table tennis at the wall behind either Jon or Glen ... and if i didnt , they would throw it there coz they said it was more comfortable since it was a familiar thing that happened every time i played .... it was sacrasm ... and i wasnt too thrilled but i couldnt stop laughing since it was so funny to see them bend down or move sideways to avoid getting whacked ... specially glen who was on the recieving end of most the returns ... hahaXx ...

the next day went out wif his frenz to study ... but after awhile ... we also felt like playing table tennis so we went to ian's (is it?) house to play ... his estate set up the table tennis inside a squash court juz like mine !!! we played and the same thing happened AGAIN !!! i keep injuring the three boys ... gosh darn it ... if i only knew how to play properly instead of juz first reaction hit out ...

then we rushed back coz debbie and her dad was supposed to fetch me ... and we went to ah hood there coz kathy was gonna be picked up after her practice or something liddat ... regrets that i didnt go for teens time seem to be veri little in comparison to the last time i missed ... dunno why but sometimes i lack enthusiam ... asked whther he ever played against my cousin since they should be in the same age group but he said he didnt really notice who he played against with ... diao~~~ ...

spent the whole weekend at debbie's house ... so darn fun lorXx !!! played table tennis wif Kat then played computer game and laughed with Debbie ... fooled around with Jessica , my LiL monkey as she decided ... oooooooooooo~kae ....

yeah ... quite uneventful now ... my bag of stuff hasnt come back yet ... *sobXx* and what i want is in there !!! yargh !! ...

tuesday =)

2004-09-21T22:51:00.000-07:00

~* tuesday *~

dum dee dum ... wat to comment ... first lesson was chinese and it was so darn nerve-wrecking coz i didnt understand what we were suppose to write about ... teacher told me i was suppose to write about my idol ... and i was like ???? ... simply had no idea wat to write ... so i made up a perfect cousin ... so lame sounding so i kinda juz wrote wateva came to mind ...

home econs ... baked tuna puff pastries ... i ate one in class ... teacher didnt notice coz she was busy watching the 3 students who were trying to set up the laptp so the class could watch the puberty lesson show ... haiZz ... most of us were eating by then ... snacking on our pastries ...

forgot i had tuition so i had to blow off taking oral today ... darn it ... i bet the teacher wont be pleased ... and coz my parents will be away until next tuesday ... i have to stay wif my cousins until then ... not that i really mind but ... i tink i would prefer my own home to someone else's ... *sighXx* tomorrow i tink the volleyball girls would be playing against presbtyrian ... and the outcome is that we're likely to lose ... HaiZz ... my cuzzie wont come to watch ... he says it's too far from HIS school ... darn him ...

*sighXx* wont be online too often now coz i will be at their house ... feel so sad ler ... prefer to be able to use com until at the most 10.45 pm ... but now i dun even know when i can use ... so i wont be blogging regularly as well ... veri veri sad situation ...

monday

2004-09-20T21:13:00.000-07:00

~* monday *~

yupXx ... another monday ... and another 39 days to go ... which makes about 5 more weeks ... yeah yeah ... a countdown to the survival of my sanity ...

the usual thing is ... i cried in school ... AGAIN ... yupXx ... what's this ? my 4th time already ??? i mean ... i've never ever cried more than once in a whole entire school year ... *sighXx*

yeah yeah ... veri sleepy ... fell asleep in science class ... teacher caught me on my third time napping ... but thankfully i was having a splitting headache and used that as my excuse to rest ... hahaXx ... never pay attention today ... muz make up on wednesday ... *sighXx* i hate wednesday classes coz they're super boring right after recess ...

had to stay back 4 some CDP lesson ... ends up it's those kind og growing up wif puberty talks ... and we're gonna be learning about it for the next few weeks ... it sounds exactly the same as the birds and the bees talk that i had to sit through last year in school ... *sigh* my partner had to ask ridiculous questions and made nonsensical comments like 'how are babies made ? ' or 'u're not a mastermind ... but u want a master bed !!!' ... it was really driving me nutZz sitting next to him ...

yeah ... then rushed off for tuition ... had maths until around six-forty ... *sighXx* veri tired now ... tomorrow got chinese compo ... and i'm sooooooooooooooo~ dead coz i know i wont be able to do it ... i have this impending doom that seems to stay above me ... hope i can write a decent story tomorrow ... i juz wanna pass this subject for once ...

sunday

2004-09-19T21:49:00.000-07:00

~* sunday *~

thankfully i managed to convince my mom to send me to church coz i wasnt gonna stay home and mope about not getting to go ...

my sister decided to tag along so she could be with her frenz ... too bad ... i was mainly there for ... well ... church ... i so lurvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvve church ... kinda weird coz i never really was commited in staying in a church for more than two times ... but something is really actually making me wanna come 4 church when i started coming more regularly since from june ...

dunno why today during service felt so darn happy ... really eager and hyped up ... normally i'll be half asleep or @ the most, kinda in a way, brain-dead ... yup yup ...

lesson was so darn nice ... me and yiwen drew all over jonathan's notes which he so begrudgingly (at least i tink so) leant us coz his mom asked him to ...

man ... he was super shocked and kinda exsperated ... lolXx ... me and yiwen were juz doodling over it and decided to ... ah ... decorate it later ...

then walked round and round ... went off lunch wif debbie and ashley ... apparently we've reached the height where ashley and lisa R no longer on speaking terms wif us ... they tink we hate them and secretly whisper bad things about them among ourselves ... rolls eyes ...

spent the rest of the day at debbie's house ... lisa was kinda alone coz no more ashley ... kinda happy abt it though ... cant really stand it anymore ...

in the evening went out wif my family and my cuzzies ... yay !!! ate @ east coast there ... i'm going to stay wif them from tuesday to next tuesday ... which means one whole week ... =( ... i kinda dun wanna but it beats then staying @ home and waking up @ 4.30 so wouldnt be late for school ...

*sighXxx* more reason why i should study hard and get outstanding grades so a better standard and school closer to my home would accept me ...